SUNSHINE SUPERCARS

s04e18

2011-07-17T12:00:00.010-04:00

400TH POST ON SUNSHINE

Google is killing Blogger. That may not be news, and it may not be a big deal, but I - and many bloggers I know and interact with - have no idea what this means for us and for our blogs. What about all those links back to our stories? What about all the links and track-backs and ping-backs in our stories? What happens to them?

It seems like, for now, no one really knows. That should be sad, I think. It should be tense, maybe ...

... but it isn't, because I've lost interest.

I haven't lost interest in writing, of course. I still regularly contribute to "my hippie blog" Gas 2.0, and I've recently begun writing for Cleantechnica, as well. I still write PR and copy material for companies like Speedriven, Switzer Performance, and (on rare occasions) Genuine Scooters. I write for Scooterworks' blog on a "few times a week" basis, and contribute to that company's online scooter wiki, as well.

Here's the thing about all that: I get paid to do it.

The initial beginnings of Sunshine were based on friction, and an inability to get my writing (as it was) published anywhere else. In a nutshell, it was this idea that "If they won't publish me, I'll publish myself." and I immediately began self-publishing the PR and copy I was writing for RENNtech here on Blogger (the RENNtech SLR McLaren cooling PKG, in particular, is what "launched" Sunshine almost exactly 4 years ago).

Getting published isn't a problem for me, anymore. That means I'm extremely lucky - but, regardless of how lucky I am or amn't - I only have so many hours in the day, and (especially in the face of all the related uncertainty surrounding Blogger) I'm out of hours to devote to Sunshine.

I will, of course, continue writing - and I hope that you'll follow me over to the various outlets that have been generous enough to include me in their rosters and listen to what I have to say there. I'll continue to make those places my home on the web, and will push out new and exciting stories about Lancias there, rather than here ...

... for now, it's come to this: Thanks for stopping by over the years, and I hope I'll get to see you again.

tym switzer brings it to the panamera

2011-06-26T21:30:00.006-04:00

PUT THE BABY SEAT IN AND GO GO GO

The crew at Ohio-based Switzer Performance call themselves turbo-tuning specialists, and have spent the last several years driving the point home at events like the Texas Mile, the GTR Nationals, and Russia's Moscow Unlimited mile-long drag races, where Switzer-tuned cars have dominated. Now, however, Tym Switzer is adding Porsche's Panamera to his company's ever-expanding roster of exotic tuning platforms.

After chasing down Bugattis and Koenigseggs with Switzer's hard-core street beasts, Porsche's luxury sedan might seem like an odd choice for a “What's next?” type of car – but Tym doesn't see it that way. “Porsche gave the Panamera a robust, twin-turbo, direct-injected V8, and it was easy to recognize that they'd left a great deal of room to work with. Working with our technology partners in developing this P680 hardware, I believe we've made full use of this, and were able to build the type of Panamera many of us hoped Porsche would build.”

To that end, the new Switzer P680 delivers 680 hp on readily available premium pump fuel, along with more than 200 additional lbs-ft of torque available across the rpm range. At the wheels.

Despite the added power, however, the new turbos help maintain drivability by delivering boost response as good as or better than stock. “You can see how responsive the new turbos are with the dyno sheets (attached), and you can definitely feel it for yourself from inside the car. The throttle response is immediate and incredible.” Turbos built with custom billet compressor wheels featuring advanced aero-profiles designed to deliver optimum performance throughout the operational range of this engine/cooling package can be thanked for the sacrifice-free performance gains. - and all of these performance gains are made through the factory catalytic converters and stock exhaust system if desired. “We really wanted to give the Panamera a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type of feel. We ended up with David Banner/Incredible Hulk, but the idea is the same: maintain a stock, daily-driver personality all the way up until the fury is released with the right pedal to the floor. I want to say 'You wouldn't like it when it's angry.' but you would. It's a rush!”

Next up on Switzer's tuning agenda was the Panamera's intercooler system (below).

CHILL MAN

“Our original prototypes were based on requests from clients in desert climates, so it was important to increase cooling efficiency in order to provide the kind of consistent power delivery and reliability our clients expect from Switzer products,” says Tym. “By adding our upgraded intercoolers (significantly larger capacity and heat-sink, compared to stock) and increasing the efficiency of the turbocharger system, we were able to help the engine make more power, while putting fewer loads on some key components. Better load-management across the components means a longer part life, to some extent, so – while it's possible to extract a great deal of power from the stock components by pushing them up to or over the edge of their limits, asking someone to live with a car that's always on the edge of reliability is unrealistic. Knowledgeable clients won't stand for it.”

Switzer's P680 PKG, then, promises huge performance gains in an everyday package, with 4 doors and intimidating speed from Switzer's comprehensive upgrades – and it's all tied together with Switzer's Siemens ECU tuning. “Getting the software right was key. There are no 'tricked' sensors or piggy-back systems spliced into a very expensive electronic system. No short-cuts, in other words. This one's done right.”

Switzer claims the P680 Panamera is capable of mid 3 second 0-60 sprints, and the capability to perform 60-130 mph runs in low 8 second range, with a top speed well in excess of 215 mph (350 km). Pricing for the P680 starts at approx. 22000 USD. Contact Switzer Performance for more.

larry crowne is my buddy

2011-06-16T09:30:00.001-04:00

LARRY CROWNE IS MY RIVA 125

Genuine Scooters are sponsoring a national campaign to promote the new Universal film "Larry Crowne" (starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts)

"Larry Crowne" is the story of a 50 year old man (played by Hanks) who is trying to re-invent himself, enrolling in college and joining a scooter gang in Los Angeles ... which is pretty much what I did after my divorce.

50 Genuine riders - on all manner of Buddy and Stella scooters - will accompany Tom Hanks on an escorted Scooter convoy through the streets of Hollywood en route to the movie's world premier next week. Philip McCaleb, CEO of Genuine, seems pretty jazzed by the whole thing, saying "we can't wait. We're all riding together and the rumor is that Julia Roberts will be joining us riding in a 'Larry Crowne' taxi - a Genuine Stella scooter fitted with a Scooterworks sidecar!"

Phil has high hopes for the movie's impact on scooter culture in the US, as well, calling the movie "the biggest promotion of scooters and scooter culture since Ace Face and the Who." With gas cresting over $5/gal in parts of the US, this might be the perfect summer for scooterists to ~~establish dominance over cage-riders~~ enjoy a bit of summer movie limelight.

As part of the promotion for Hanks' new movie, 18 US cities will have contests to win opening-night tickets, and Genuine will be sponsoring a grand prize in each city: a brand-new Genuine St. Tropez Buddy 150 cc scooter (why yes, that is St. Tropez blue).

Head on over to your local Genuine dealer for more info., and good luck!

the black goo from mass

2011-06-11T13:30:00.001-04:00

OO-EY GOO-EY

Full disclosure: this was originally written for my other (other) blog, Gas 2.0, but wasn't published there. I like it, so I'm posting it here.

“The black goo” would be a great name for the gunk filling this battery; but (in a huge marketing blunder) it’s been called Cambridge Sludge, instead, proving (as if it needed proving) that you should never let the engineers get too close to the marketers (it’s not good for either of them).

That said, a group of MIT engineers created the black goo to function “just like” a conventional battery. The goo has charged particles within it (held in a suspension) and flows “like quicksand”. On one side of a thin membrane is a positive suspension of goo. On the other, a negative one. The electrons flow from one side to another (flow of electrons = electricity) until the two sides are “equal”.

All typical “battery stuff”, then … what’s exciting is what happens once the battery’s charge is spent. The MIT battery can be charged by simply emptying out the spent sludge, and pumping in some fresh goo (and that spent goo can then be “re-charged” at leisure) all at a greatly reduced cost compared to replacing Li-ion batteries.

How “greatly reduced”? According to MIT, “the new design should make it possible to reduce the size and the cost of a complete battery system, including all of its structural support and connectors, to about half the current levels.”

Obviously, a huge cost-reduction in initial purchase (and, later, battery replacement) would play a major role in advancing the case for EVs in the general marketplace. The target of the team’s ongoing work is to have “a fully-functioning, reduced-scale prototype system” operating in 2013.

jesus died lol

2011-05-31T22:00:00.008-04:00

I LIKE WHEN THEY CALL HIM A JEW

This video captures exactly everything that is wrong with the world these days - and I'm not referring to the kid with the "Jesus Died LOL" gamer tag.

No, sirormadameasthecasemaybe! I am referring, instead, to the "Christians" who have taken it upon themselves to correct young Jesus Died LOL's behavior. Did they pray for Jesus Died LOL? Did they pray for his soul and for his deliverance? No, actually. The "Christians" were too busy playing their game (which, to wit, involved graphic virtual murders taking place every few seconds) to pray for young Jesus Died LOL's soul.

Heck, that's forgivable.

After all, these modern-day "Christians" might have felt like Jesus Died LOL was persecuting them, and might have also simply forgotten that Jesus had - according to verses from the Gospel of Matthew 5:43-45, and from the Gospel of Luke 6:28 - directed them to pray for those who persecuted them.

Sure, it's easy for me to forgive Jesus Died LOL (he made me laugh - and that's all it takes in my book), but he's not insulting My Lord and Savior. Surely the "Christians" have some leeway here, right? Right!

I mean, I think they have some wiggle room - but they don't. Not according to that pesky little rascal, Jesus (Homer) Christ, anyway (check out Mark 11:25, where Jesus directs his followers to forgive those who do wrong ... and I'm not even going to get started on that whole "throw no stones" bit).

SO, what we have here is a young troll who has brought to light that ugly little truth of modern "Christianity": that many (far too many) so called "Christians" are nothing but frightened, violent, bigoted, narrow-minded, hypocritical, closet-case, pigfuckers [citation needed].

One last little parting note for the believers up there, before I step down from the soapbox. It is from the Gospel of Matthew, and is a quote attributed to Jesus, himself, which goes (according to the NKJV) "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." which many scholars have taken to mean that the thought of a sin, the planning of a sin, the fantasy of a sin, is - in itself - the commission of that sin ...

... how many people did you kill playing that game? Seemed pretty real, didn't it? You thought about how you were going to kill the next guy over the next hill?

Sure you did.

See you in Hell, Christfags.

NOTE

South Park

sergio lives

2011-05-30T18:45:00.003-04:00

BETTER THAN IT LOOKS ...

I read about it. I watch movies about it. I tell stories about it. Hell, I have whole friendships that are based on it. There is no question, then: I love Formula 1.

Formula 1 is a huge part of my life. On some days, I even imagine that it embodies the very essence of competition, ingenuity, and bravery. Early in those pre-dawn mornings, watching the races live on BBC, I can even convince myself that Formula 1 is the physical manifestation of man's highest ideals ...

... that's before the coffee kicks in and I come to my senses, of course. Formula 1 is just a show, after all; but it is one hell of a show - and the stars of the show, guys like Fernando Alonso and Kamui Kobayashi, are my heroes. Recently, I've added another name to my list of favorites: Sergio Perez.

This Saturday at Monaco, Perez was in a horrific crash that saw his Sauber slap into the safety barriers at terrifying speeds.

Watching it live, I was sure he was dead.

Watch it yourself - how would you like to go through this?

... IT WOULD HAVE TO BE

Sergio Perez, of course, did not die. Perez lived, suffering only a minor concussion and a few sprains - which is awesome, because I've been through a lot these past few weeks, and I don't think I could have handled that.

So, in a rare expression of gratitude, I'm going to thank the cosmos for keeping one of my guys alive.

Awesome stuff, universe. Thank you.

tiny penguin pancakes

2011-04-28T20:30:00.003-04:00

SHE HAD MAN HANDS

Everyone has a culinary degree these days, but at least TinyPenguininja is using his (hers?) for a noble purpose: a helping of SQUEE!, served one tiny plate at a time.

On the one hand, I love small things. Teacup Yorkies? Yes, please. Two inch Siberian hamsters nom-ing mini carrots? Affirmative. A herd of pastel colored baby bunnies yawning in unison? Perfection! Tiny blueberry pancake + lil' bitty bits of bacon + quail eggs, over-medium? I'm not 100% on this one, but give it a moment.

I've learned a precious few things during my 25 years on the planet (the 4-year anniversary of her 25th birthday is coming up fast, guys! - Ed.), but I've picked up enough to question the mental state of anyone dedicating themselves to cutting tiny circles out pepperoni slices to create the ultimate mini pepperoni and mushroom pizza.

SO, with that, I've decided against sending my phone number.

Did you hear that, TinyPenguininja? NO SOUP FOR YOU! ... unless you look like Sean Connery in Zardos, that is ... then, I dunno. Facebook me or something. We'll talk.

bury me in this

2011-04-24T00:28:00.001-04:00

YOU HAD ME AT LUXURY TOILET

I assume that anyone with a vivid imagination already has a bucket list - and owning Kohler's new $6,400 Numi toilet has sky-rocketed to the top of mine.

Granted, some might say that the Numi completely ostentatious and unnecessary - but I choose to follow the philosophy of Hank Scorpio, who seized the Eastern seaboard but still had time to teach us that "it's the little things that make up life." So it is that - while this nanny toilet may be a little thing in the cosmic sense, a relatively insignificant piece of luxe design in the grand scheme of metaphysical manifestation, or (if you're a real party-pooper) just a toilet - the ability to listen to good music and have hot and cold air blown up your bum does seem to have some real merit and real value.

Sure, I could feed an African shanty town for a month (or Sally Struthers, for a week) with that $6,400, but chances are that if I have the means to buy the Numi, I will also have the means to buy said shanty town a Numi toilet of its own. As the saying goes, "give a man a toilet, and he won't poop on a dirt floor. Give the man the Numi toilet, and he'll charge for rides on the thing."

Thanks to our friends at Gizmodo for the straight poop (see what I did there?).

this theory has legs

2011-04-15T10:45:00.001-04:00

INSERT WINE METAPHOR HERE

I believe that everyone has some kind of special talent - like a sixth sense or mild Dr. Dolittleism. Just stay with me here, and take a moment to observe the people in your life.

I have one friend who attracts all manner of neighborhood cats to her door each night, without giving the little buggers food. Her mother felt a sharp pain in her gut whenever she brought certain boys over ...

... or maybe you (like me) have an auto-obsessive friend who has a spyder sense (see what I did there?) for weird, rare cars. More than once, we'd be deep in conversation while driving to a movie when his head would snap left. He'd execute a raucous, three-lane u-turn, jamming the front of the car into the driveway of a tiny used car dealership or pick-and-pull or abandoned gas station because the side mirror peeking out from under that torn old car cover could "only" be British.

Sure, he could have killed us both many times over, but then he wouldn't have found that special, rusted out ~~Italian crap-heap~~ Lancia to restore, either - and we all gots'ta have priorities.

Like I said, I suspect many fine people are blessed with these gifts, and I also suspect there is a physiological explanation involved.

[insert a random internet crawl]

As soon as I found it, it hit me: olfactory.

Apparently, there exist men and women out there who can detect, with their sense of smell, the unique tang of even trace airborne molecules of rust, Italian oil, or errant drops of espresso dried in between the seams of the dashboard ... maybe not from 60 feet away at 40 mph, but hear me out.

Olfaction is a form of chemoreception (the ability to perceive specific molecules in the air), and - usually - the sense of smell is reserved for locating food, finding a mate, and averting danger. "The essentials", in other words.

Enter: the gearhead.

Do you know someone who claims to taste vanilla, chocolate, smoke, steak, glue, and Play-Doh in their wine? Someone who can find a Greek restaurant in their sleep? What about someone who considers offbeat cars to be the end all and be all of human existence?

You're reading this blog, so you probably know at least one.

These people have become bipedal hounds - finely-tuned instruments of discovery, focused on finding their specific "treasures", often in spite of (or encouraged by!) the horrified faces of their peers.

Back to the point about "special superpowers", then: it's smell. It's some smell thing, I think ... and I'm pretty comfortable with that theory.

That or Grey Aliens (it's 50/50).

i write about wine | part vi

2011-04-13T22:00:00.002-04:00

HIGH FIDELITY

Devout Christians claim to see the hand of God in all things, and - to these people - that sight is a comfort and a strength. I've heard them read off beautiful expositions expounding upon the Graceful hand that shaped each leaf, sprinkled every drop of dew, and I've seen them grow in strength and joy simply reading about their creator. These few, faithful people really do see God in the details - let's face it: ain't just anybody seein' Jesus in a tortilla.

I think it's safe to say that I am not a Christian. Not really. It's not what I am or what I am not that is relevant here, though - what is relevant, and what I feel makes me very like these hyper-religious people I just described, is that I see Lancias everywhere.

Take, for example, the Dodge Avenger rally project shown in the video, above. Jalopnik writer Justin Hyde said that this 300 hp car - built in conjunction with Fiat and Magneti Marelli - was "all dressed up with no place to go."

Really, Justin? Really!?

Take a look at this car. Look hard, and soak it in - but keep an open mind, too, because - unless you're as damaged as I am - I'll need to explain what it is you're looking at.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

I submit, for your consideration, the following hypothesis: Justin (along with the boys at Autoblog) got it dead wrong.

See, the 300 hp rally-spec Dodge shown here is nothing but red-herring. It is a ruse. It is a diversion, if you will, which will allow Chrysler and Fiat to develop something novel, exciting, and inspiring in relative secrecy, by hiding it in plain sight. I am referring, of course, to a new Lancia HF.

:: remember to breathe, remember to breathe ::

There is very little in this world that is more exciting to me than the prospect of honest-to-goodness new Lancia arriving on US shores, and almost nothing that is more exciting to me than the prospect of a new HF.

Add the word "Integrale" to the end of that sentence and you can drop the "almost".

I believe, with the same religiastic Fervor that makes believers see the Virgin Mary in a grease stain, that the Dodge Stratus rally car that was making news today is a mule, proving that the platform can boogie in the dirt. The platform, by the way, which it shares with Chrysler's new 200. AKA the 2012 Lancia Flavia.

Lancia Flavia HF has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

With 300 hp on tap and sport-tuned, rally-bred suspension components managing the car's newly-refined chassis, a Flavia HF would go a long way towards building the Chrysler 200's cred as a Lancia worthy of carrying the shield and the flag... and Fiat would be mad not to move forward with the concept ... and I think someone at Fiat agrees.

STEADY NOW

I promise you: the Lancia Flavia HF will happen, and you'll be done seen 'bout ev'rything, when you see a elephant fly.

a real education

2011-04-13T20:00:00.005-04:00

YOUR PROFESSORS ARE DOGBERT

I've been thinking a lot about school and education lately. Not only my own (laughable) attempts at learning anything worth knowing, but my sister's too. See, she's graduating from high school soon, and will be heading off to college in the fall ... and I feel like I should have something, some sort of Advice to hand down to her, you know?

Therein lies the problem: I'm not sure what to tell her.

It's not that I didn't learn anything in school - quite the opposite. My problem is that schools, even state schools, have become businesses first and hallowed halls of learning a far, far distant second (maybe fourth), and - in a few short weeks - my baby sister is going to be thrown into that grinder. In order to pursue whatever interests she may have, she'll have to jump through hoops like 1000-level English courses that she'll BS through, and 2000 level liberal arts courses that she'll BS through, etc., etc.

Will that help her become whatever she wants to become?

No. Of course it won't.

I'm not really bright enough or articulate enough to dole out any kind of well-formed insights, however, so the best I can do is quote the great Samuel Clemens, who said "never let school get in the way of your education."

Perhaps ol' Sam is a bit outdated, though, and a more "modern" philosopher might be able to help me relay a more contemporary message. With that in mind, I turn to Mr. Scott Adams.

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, Adams wrote:

I understand why the top students in America study physics, chemistry, calculus and classic literature. The kids in this brainy group are the future professors, scientists, thinkers and engineers who will propel civilization forward. But why do we make B students sit through these same classes? That's like trying to train your cat to do your taxes—a waste of time and money. Wouldn't it make more sense to teach B students something useful, like entrepreneurship?

Adams goes on to share a series of anecdotes about his own college experience, where he learned how to "get things done", and to "make something out of nothing."

Getting things done, as it were, is far and away the most important skill I ever picked up - but I didn't learn it in school. To be honest, I'm not sure where I got it, but I know who was pushing it: my dad.

For most of my life, I thought the guy was pretty useless. I would ask him how to do something, he would look at me like I was wearing a meat helmet, then shake his hands dismissively and say "you just do it." One day - long after I'd given up asking his advice - he gave me some advice: just do it.

Whatever it was we were talking about, I handled it on my own. It started a trend.

I haven't done very much in life (yet), so it may seem stupid to give any kind of advice or wisdom, but whatever I have done, I simply just did.

Example: more even than all the car stuff, I am most proud of the writing I do for Gas 2.0 and - sad as this is - the writing I do here on Sunshine ... and at no point did anyone tell me how to go out and get published. No one told me how to get paid for writing. No one coached me, trained me, or pushed me there. In fact, it was literally a case of "no one else will publish this, so I will" that led me to start this Blogger account.

That doesn't mean I didn't get any help along the way, of course. Nick Chambers, Chris DeMorro, and many other great people at Important Media have helped me along, and I've learned a ton from Matt Hardigree, E Maureen, and the great Jack Baruth, but I didn't learn a lick of it in school.

I've been talking about writing a book (like, an honest-to-goodness Book book) for a while, and I think I will now, just to prove the point that if you want to do something, you do it by doing it.

That's my advice for you, I guess. Learn by doing ... and listen to dad.

open your eyes to awesome (video)

2011-04-07T20:00:00.001-04:00

ROCKY VI WOULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING

Alex Metric and Steve Angello have put together a hilarious/fantasmic mashup of Robocop and Rocky, complete with so-classic-it's-cliche Rocky-style training montage. It's 3 minutes and 17 seconds of awesome, and well worth watching if you're a fan of either franchise ... and possibly if you're a fan of Alex Metric and Steve Angello.

I found this on: I Heart Chaos.

how to make jive

2011-04-05T11:00:00.001-04:00

SUBTITLES FTW

Airplane! is arguably the funniest movie ever made. It was racist, lewd, insensitive, and the script was sprinkled liberally with pedophile jokes. It proves, however, the old comedy maxim that you can get away with anything if the audience laughs.

The video above is an excerpt from the a "making of" video about "the Jive scene", which is without a doubt my favorite scene from the movie ... or, it was. Now I like the "making of" bit better. The funny starts at 0:45.

the goldilocks car

2011-04-04T21:00:00.005-04:00

IGNORE THE OTHER AWESOME CARS

One of the reasons I've been hiding from Sunshine as long as I have is that we've been running around like ~~mental patients~~ eight-year-olds trying to get. Things. Done. And yes, I know that. Writing. Like. This. doesn't emphasize what I'm trying to say any more than it makes my computer sound like that asthmatic kid from Malcolm in the Middle, but (dammit, man!) I am tired.

As far excuses for being tired go, though, I'm sure that jamming a massive, 875 hp (700+ whp) V12 into a relatively small E Class Mercedes ranks right up there with "dude, she's a machine!" for acceptability, so I'll get right to the point: this is "the Goldilocks car", and it is what happens when the C class is too small, the S class is too big, and the SLR McLaren 722GT is too motherloving SLOW. There's a full press release and photo-gallery over at Speedriven.com, but you can CLICK HERE to jump right to it.

Enjoy!

the hawt new thunder (cats video)

2011-04-04T18:30:00.002-04:00

THE FAN FIC WILL BE FULL OF KITTY PR0N

First shown at last weekend's Wondercon, this is the first trailer for the upcoming Thundercats reboot, which looks to be on-par with the 2002 MOTU re-launch ... which is to say: pretty freakin' awesome.

I'll be looking forward to the new show, and will probably do another "Awesome 80's Childhood" post about it in the next few days ... you know, for the poor bastards who grew up later and/or weren't allowed to watch cartoons.

Stay tuned!

april funnies

2011-04-01T16:00:00.001-04:00

FUN IF NOT FUNNY

There were so many news stories last month that skewed tragic or skewed weird that I was honestly just happy to make it through the month in one piece, journalism-wise. I still need to get busy and bring everyone who follows Sunshine up to date on all the news at Speedriven that hasn't made it to these pages (?) yet.

Before we get to that, though, I'd like to steer you over to Gas 2.0 and the great Prius-based joke story up there by Chris DeMorro, who inspired me to try my hand at contrived comedy.

So, enjoy the laughs for now - and stay tuned!

cake pops

2011-03-31T11:00:00.002-04:00

F*** YEAH

These, dear friends, are Starbucks' new cake pops, and they are the best thing in the world.

As my good friend Scotty says, "they're bad for the abs", but I can't really see my abs under all this ~~fat~~ man-meat, so whether they are or not, I honestly couldn't tell you. What I can tell you is: you should try one.

a funny thing happened

2011-03-30T17:00:00.006-04:00

THIRTY THOUSAND

In my last post, I mentioned that I'd been neglecting Sunshine a bit - which is true. The flip side of that statement is that I've been focusing my energies elsewhere. Namely: Speedriven (of course) and Gas 2.0, which has a steadily-growing audience many thousands strong. Granted, Gas 2.0 is a long way behind big car sites like Autoblog and Jalopnik, but it has its niche and fills it well, I think.

Over the past few years that I've been writing for Gas 2.0, I've posted a number of stories I found neat. Compelling, even. It was a bit of a surprise, then, when a quick article I wrote about a recycle and renovated Airstream trailer became the most wildly popular post on the site, generating almost 30,000 page-views within 24 hours of being posted.

Good news, for sure - but not at all expected.

What was it about the RV post that caused such a stir? No idea, but I tried to recapture some of the headline magic a few days later with only limited success. I'll keep trying, though (hard to keep a good car man down) and I'll keep you posted on the progress.

faith restored

2011-03-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

BACK ON THE ROAD

It's been over a month since my last update here on Sunshine, but it's been a he(ck) of a month in many other ways. As always, there was plenty of good and plenty of bad - but I'll get to all that in good time. For now, however, I'd like to re-start my involvement here at Sunshine by following up on my last post.

As you can see from the photo above: the Shondes are back on the road!

See? Good things happen, too.

restore my faith in humanity

2011-02-23T17:50:00.000-05:00

VAN GOES HERE

These, dear friends, are the Shondes, and they are the best band in the world.

Despite this, their van was recently stolen, essentially rendering the band immobile and unable to get on the road, tour, play shows, and generally preventing the band from coming to Chicago.

So, yeah: major problem.

Luckily, this is the twenty-first century, and we have the internet to help us do things like overthrow despots, tell the world about Mike's Legos, and help people who deserve help get back on the road.

CLICK HERE to check out the Shondes' Kickstarter project, give what you can, and restore my faith in good things happening to good people.

gotta love wordpress

2011-02-22T10:40:00.003-05:00

PRETTY

If your only clue about what's going on in my life is time spent at Sunshine Supercars, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's been a quiet month ... nothing could be further from the truth, however, and we've been pushing through snow drifts, elbowing people at the Chicago Auto Show, yelling at suppliers, and moving the shop into new, classier digs. All of the above should yield some good posts, but you'll have to wait for that.

SO, what else is new? Speedriven's shiny new (Wordpress powered) website, which integrates news, press releases, product reviews, and even allows comments on some of the product pages! You can CLICK HERE to check it out, and let me know what you think in the comments.

Enjoy!

godzilla v. mecha-lambo

2011-01-19T12:00:00.001-05:00

IT IS PRONOUNCED GHEY-ARE-DOE

Earlier this week, a few enthusiasts rented out South Florida's excellent PBIR to run a few friendly "grudge match" drag races. Among the attendees were one crisp, white Switzer R900 GTR and one screaming yellow, twin-turbo Gallardo.

Let me give you a quick rundown of the video: the cars line up, the lights turn green, and they go.

If you've been following the exploits of the Switzer-tuned GTR Nissans over the last few years, you already know who wins.

darkwing love

2011-01-18T17:20:00.003-05:00

PLAY IT LOUD

One of the perks of regularly checking in on Topless Robot is that sometimes (not often) they go beyond the merely dorky and fun and find some little corner of the web that is chock-full of chicken-fried awesome.

Such is the case with the short video above.

Sung by Joanne Ryan (?) this, without a doubt, is the best acoustic rendition of the Darkwing Duck theme song you've ever heard. That sound at the end? According to Topless Robot, that's the sound of thousands of nerds instantly falling in love with her.

Enjoy!

i write about wine | part v

2011-01-15T13:20:00.004-05:00

2012 ~~CHRYSLER SEBRING~~ LANCIA FLAVIA BERLINA

This is the face of the new Lancia Flavia. It also happens to be the face of the new Chrysler 200, and I'm not sure what to make of that.

If you know me well enough, you know that I lust over Lancias the way most of my generation lusts after Lamborghinis or Ferarris.

Countach? Make mine an HF Integrale, thanks.

If you know me well enough, you also know that I've owned several Lancias, and I've looked back on 1982 (the last year Lancias were officially sold in the US) as a dark year. A tainted year.

Through the lenses of dozens of automotive photographers over the last 3 decades, however, I've watched the brand evolve. I've been mocked and teased by the Lancia gods time and time again. The Alfa 164 and Saab 9000 were almost Lancias, but not Lancias. I made do with my 1975 and 1981 Lancia Beta coupes, but what I wanted was a new Lancia - which is probably why I haven't been able to keep any other car for very long.

When the economy tanked in 2008, though, there was suddenly hope. Lancia's parent company (Fiat) absorbed Chrysler, and announced that it would merge the Lancia and Chrysler brands. It was fantastic news, and I held my breath to see what would happen next.

I didn't have to wait long to exhale, as Chrysler released their version of the storied Delta at the very next Detroit auto show. Sure, it said "Chrysler" on its rump, but it was an honest-to-goodness Lancia on US shores. I felt excited and vindicated.

This news of the Lancia Flavia's return after a near forty-year absence elicits quite the opposite response. The new Flavia is an honest-to-goodness Chrysler, but it says "Lancia" on its rump.

So, is it a Lancia?

The 200, by all accounts, is dynamically flawed. Have there ever been dynamically flawed Lancias? I don't know. In fact, this whole conversation of what makes a Lancia a Lancia and whether this Chrysler is "worthy" of carrying the Lancia shield is the exactly same sort of semantic exercise in metaphysics that I spent several years trying to avoid in college, so I won't let myself get sucked into it here.

What I will let myself get sucked into, however, is the question of whether or not the 200 is worthy to wear the Flavia badge.

This, dear reader, is a classic 1963 Lancia Flavia Berlina.

MORE VLASSIC THAN CLASSIC

I know. It looked better in my memory, too.

The Flavia is the "black sheep" of old Lancias, then. It doesn't encourage you to flog it, like a Fulvia. It doesn't beg to run free and fast over the open road, like an Aurelia. It doesn't buzz like an olympic swimming pool of pissed off honeybees, like an 037. It doesn't chew you up and spit you out, like a Stratos. The old Flavia doesn't do much, in fact, except fit four people and carry the same storied shield as its more romantic brothers ...

... which is exactly what the new Flavia will do.

magic plastic mushrooms

2011-01-13T10:40:00.001-05:00

THIS PLASTIC IS GREAT WITH TABASCO

My recently-acquired Facebook friend Becky Streipe recently posted this excellent article and video (from TED2010) on her GreenUPGRADER blog, and it is simply mind blowing.

Enjoy!

2012 s350 diesel

2011-01-12T18:10:00.003-05:00

DIESEL BABY

I just posted this article about the new-for-2012 Mercedes S350 Bluetec over on my other blog, Gas 2.0. Usually that would be that, since what I post there rarely makes it over here (and vice-versa).

All the same, this diesel Benz (above) fills me with outrageous desires.

MWAAAHAHAHA!

So, what do you think? Any players ready for a $120,000, 500 hp diesel flagship drift Mercedes-Benz?

hartmut's b****

2011-01-12T17:30:00.002-05:00

As many of you probably know, I spent a few years working for Hartmut Feyhl over at RENNtech in South Florida. I made a lot of good friends working there, but there's been just too much bad blood (and mental instability) on the part of the ownership there for me to stay on their good side.

All the same, I never bad-mouthed RT on the forums. I never spoke about them at all, actually, unless specifically asked or provoked.

Earlier today, however, someone I introduced myself to responded with "I remember you. You used to be Hartmut's bitch."

:: pauses for dramatic effect ::

This, of course, did not sit well with me.

A short while later, someone sent this little nugget of comedic gold to my inbox. The planets thus aligned, I decided to post it here immediately.

You know how people talk about not burning bridges? This is me fire-bombing those bridges from a Fairchild Republic A-10.

Enjoy!

tell it like it is

2011-01-10T14:30:00.002-05:00

AS GOOD AS SUCKERS

Finally, a car commercial that tells it like it really is. Excepting the Dacia, this scene plays itself out in showrooms across America every day.

Once again, many thanks to the boys at Jalopnik for posting this gem.

1990 mercedes c11

2011-01-08T14:20:00.003-05:00

CLASSIC SICKNESS

Every once in a great while, I like to have a profound philosophical insight that changes the way I think about the world and how I see my place in it. In today's insight, however, it was perhaps the way I see Speedriven's place in the world that's changed.

That said, I won't share exactly what that insight was; but I will hint at it.

Watch and learn.

2012 c coupe turbo

2011-01-07T11:40:00.002-05:00

TEH NEW HAWTNESS

That up there is the new ~~face~~ booty of Mercedes' sports coupes, and what booty it be!

The boys at Jalopnik posted some early press pics of the upcoming 2012 C coupe earlier today, and mentioned new turbocharged 6 and 4-cylinder engines. Here's what you really need to know, though: everyone at Speedriven is psyched about this car.

Stay tuned.

what is old is new(s) again

2011-01-07T09:20:00.009-05:00

WELCOME TO ~~2008~~ 2011

I went back and forth about whether or not I should write this post, but the deciding factor was simple: I, at least, want my photo credit.

The RENNtech ownership has pulled a bunch of slimy BS over on me (and others) over the past few years, from stealing literally all of the content off of my personal RT blog and posting it to their own blog without citing my authorship or linking back to my blog to falsely accusing me of shredding documents and simply denying my ownership of things like kart chassis and a 20" iMac when I left the company in 2009 ... but that's water under the bridge, for the most part.

As I see it, Hartmut must be reaching for every penny he can get, and if screwing an employee out of a few hundred bucks' worth of karting gear and computer peripherals is what it takes to keep a roof over his head, then he can have it. I don't want his family to starve because of me, you know?

That said, I felt a deep and satisfying schadenfreude when I saw that RENNtech was pushing out this 30-month-old press release (complete with my photos) as "news" again this morning.

Good luck with that, guys. You're going to need it.

helmet time

2011-01-06T11:15:00.003-05:00

THAT LASTED 5 DAYS

2011 was supposed to be my year of fiscal responsibility, hard work, and self-denial. I was off to a good start, too, having sold my XBox and committed to a solid 4-week budget. Things were looking good - that is, before I discovered the Luxist blog and was reminded me of a simple truth: I want expensive things.

The expensive thing getting my attention today is the limited-edition TAG Heuer helmet up there, which includes the bitchin' fly screen and features racing stripes matched to the colors on Steve McQueen's driving gear from the movie Le Mans.

At about 650 USD, it's not that expensive of a helmet, really - but not really an improvement over the 200 USD Snell-rated brain bucket I wear now.

:: sighs ::

Maybe next year.

speedriven | s600 + $9000 = 700 hp

2011-01-05T14:20:00.002-05:00

2009 S600 MERCEDES BENZ

In the world of Mercedes-Benz tuning, $9000 American doesn't usually buy you a whole lot. If you're shopping at RENNtech, $9000 will buy you a set of RENNtech wheels, but not tires. Over at Brabus, $9000 will buy you all manner of leather-covered things and some shiny, light-up interior bits, but not quite enough shiny, light-up bits to park your Benz with the cool kids from Quadrophenia. $9000 will also buy you the front half of a Mansory bodykit, assuming you want your Benz to look like a Cylon destroyer.

Here at Speedriven, though, things are different. We don't sell flash wheels, LED dress-up baubles, or questionable body kits. Here at Speedriven, we sell speed.

Keep that in mind when you look at the 2009 S600 up there. Sure, it may not look much different from the other Mercedes down at the Whole Paycheck, but one look under the hood of this Speedriven-prepared S600 is all it takes to see that this big Benz is different.

SHINY

The Speedriven package fitted to the W221-chassis Mercedes S600 shown here features a polished set of Speedriven's top-mounted water-to-air intercoolers, “scorpion” air intakes, K&N cone filters, and Speedriven's ECU software to manage the extra air density and extra boost. The car also features Speedriven's transmission controller upgrades, allowing the car to handle the extra torque and giving the S600 a more “true” manual mode to hold gears more aggressively while delivering quicker, firmer shifts in “sport” mode (comfort mode retains the S600's usual silkiness).

With all the parts installed, this Speedriven-tuned S600 produces 695 hp and 840 lb-ft of daily-driver torque, which is huge, for a 600.

He(ck), 700 hp and 800 + lb-ft of torque is huge, period. You're not even getting that with the Black Series cars from - and you have to add another zero to the back of Speedriven's $9000 PKG price tag to make up for the difference from a ~~more pedestrian~~ standard AMG.

The cost for all the hardware necessary to replicate this 700 hp S Class is $8800, plus installation. Contact Speedriven for more information. More pics, including dyno figures, at this link.

so that was 2010

2010-12-31T09:40:00.004-05:00

It's been a while since I posted something "heart-felt" here on Sunshine. There are always plenty of reasons for playing life a bit close to the chest, of course, and let me tell you: I have plenty.

That said, 2010 has come and gone - and I think we've all grown up a bit.

Personally, 2010 was a strange year for me. I reconnected with some estranged family members just in time for them to "be there" for me when my father passed away in July. It was around that time that I made the decision to do whatever was necessary to become a bigger part of my son's life, and moved across two states (with no job and no plan) to be with him.

Those were probably the two major events of the year. As it is, perhaps, with everyone in situations like these, I learned who would really be there for me when I needed them, and who was just along for the ride. I wish I could say that I knew who was who before-hand, but I was surprised - and grateful - every time.

SO, while I'm on the subject of gratitude I'd like to say that I couldn't have made it through this year's hard times (and there are a lot more than the two listed above) without the support and friendship of people like Jody, Bill, Don, and Frankie.

In many ways, 2010 was a very "adult" year. There were break-ups, heated arguments over my boy, multiple moves, financial struggles, personal struggles, stresses at work, and stresses at home ... but there were some great times, too.

For starters, I've been writing quite a bit more frequently - and I do enjoy it so. I've gotten re-acquainted with the Linux terminal, CSS, HTML, and AutoCAD, as well - just because I like myself better the better I get at these things. I learned a lot about sales and marketing from Jody, and (with Bill's help) I'm putting all of these things together.

Perhaps the biggest personal story of 2010, for me, was joining Speedriven. After the disappointments at RENNtech and Switzer I was almost ready to give up on automotive - but here I am, and (on some days) I couldn't be happier. Marcin has made me feel like I've been here since day 1 - which I have, in many ways!

It's still too soon to tell, of course, how the Speedriven adventure will play out. So far, though, I'm glad we're here and I'm glad we're doing this. We've had more successes than we could have reasonably expected, and (if our luck holds out) we've got a lot more success to come.

If I had to sum it all up, I suppose I would tell you that 2010 was the first year I really felt like an "adult", with all the pros (and only some of the cons) that the word implies.

2011 HAD BETTER WATCH OUT

I think that's enough philosophy for today, right?

Right.

Now, I'd intended to wrap this up here, but I can't justifiably close out any kind of retrospective on 2010 without mentioning Charis. I don't think she likes it when I draw attention to her, but nobody reads this anyway, so here goes: Charis has been an amazingly positive influence on me for the last six years. In 2010, however, she was my rock in so many storms that I sincerely lost count. Without her there to hold me up, I'm sure I would have fallen into a deep depression at best, and ... best not to think of the "at worst".

Thank you, Charis. I couldn't have made it through 2010 without you, and I can't wait to see what 2011 brings.

speedriven | about that block tuner

2010-12-28T12:20:00.004-05:00

EVEN BIGGER IN PERSON

A few weeks ago, this gorgeous 2010 S63 AMG showed up at Speedriven's Palatine, IL garage ... presenting a perfect opportunity to illustrate how the Block Tuner works on the newer Mercedes / AMG models.

In short, Speedriven's Block Tuner allows the end-user to "flash" their car's ECU through the OBDII port, effectively switching between a "stock" file and a "tuned" file in a matter of minutes - which is ideal for customers with warranty concerns or who choose to go to their local dealer for regular maintenance.

The S63 shown here makes use of the Bosch ME9.7 ECU (in fact, all of the current naturally-aspirated 63 series AMG cars do, as well), which needs to be "unlocked" here at Speedriven before it can be tuned over the OBDII. On the S63, the ECU is located under the hood, at the base of the windshield, on the driver's side (shown, below).

SIMPLE ENOUGH

The ECU is usually sent back the day we receive it here at Speedriven, so if you drop the ECU into a FedEx box on Monday afternoon, you'll be back on the road by 10AM Wednesday. Now that the ECU is no longer "write-protected" you'll be able to write to it using the Block Tuner.

NOTE: using the Block Tuner to read the ECU won't be a necessary step on a 63, because we can load a Speedriven file on the ECU while it's here being unlocked, and ship the Block Tuner pre-loaded with the factory file and the Speedriven file, already. Unlocking the ECU is not detectable by the dealer.

The process for loading a file from your computer to the Block Tuner is the same as a USB thumb drive or external hard drive. Just drag and drop the file into the Block Tuner folder (shown here, on a Mac).

STILL SIMPLE ENOUGH

You can load 2 files on the Block Tuner, and select between them using the physical switch on the Block (up/down = stock/tuned, or pump gas/race gas, or tuner 1/tuner 2 for a comparison, for example).

Once that's done, you can remove the Block Tuner from the computer. Select the file you'd like to load onto the car by putting the switch in either the up or down position, then plug the Block into the OBDII port, under the dash (below) ...

IT FITS PERFECTLY

... turning the key to the "on" position will initiate a programming cycle. The instruments will react and the engine fans will start running throughout the cycle. Once programming is complete, the Block Tuner's LED will glow green. Turn off the car, remove the Block Tuner, and you're ready to go with a new file loaded on the car.

If you ever want to put your ECU back to stock, make sure there is a stock setting on the Block Tuner, select the stock file by setting the switch to the appropriate up or down position, and load the file to the ECU (following the included manual, of course).

iskelmaprinssi ftmfw

2010-12-03T16:15:00.006-05:00

THE LOVE THAT ~~DARE NOT SPEAK~~ CANNOT PRONOUNCE ITS NAME

You've got to hand it to the guys at Jalopnik. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year they keep finding the most ~~goofy~~ awesome automotive videos on the interwebs ... and this video, with its inexplicable "action" cut at 0:35, is no exception.

INEXPLICABLE ACTION

I have no idea what the video is supposed to be showing us, other than the obvious: a bunch of German microcars engaged in some kind of dirt-track death race to the tune of an all-banjo soundtrack.

Going a step beyond the obvious, however, Jalopnik seems to have made sense of the film, claiming that the movie's synopsis - when run through Google - translates to the following:

Earth has rotated so many times around the sun that has reached the early 1960s. Martin, Blue, Rami and Bambi elelevät sand pits cut through the mass of a country village haaveineen. Martin would like a career musician, Blue to build a career in fashion models in Helsinki , Rami miss working Bambilla rally star and future plans are still open. Between the monitored luihun pop boss, the movie "bad guy", attempts to find new lead singer promises...Young people can not agree, however, to focus on kuhinointiin can breathe, as the rally Ramin dreams of kingship to be tuned ajokaluaan victory Bambi wants to get in shape and out of small rural village surroundings. He has a good singing voice, which she wins the popular song contest. But the organizer of the competition starts to harass Bambia car's back seat and the girl's pop star dreams of flowing tears in the sand.

The world kinda makes sense a little more sense now, doesn't it?

You're welcome.

new-for 2011 mclaren slr (video)

2010-12-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

WHAT IS OLD IS NEW AGAIN

That's right, kids - there is a new-for-2011 SLR McLaren!

Redesigned with a more sculpted nose and swoopy-er flanks to look more like its kid brother (the unfortunately named McLaren MP4 12C), the new SLR carries on with the 626 hp. 5.5 L supercharged V8 from the previous 722, but features some new aero and suspension tricks from the 722GT project.

I haven't seen any performance numbers, yet, but with production limited to just 25 units and honest-to-goodness McLaren badges, all I can say is "make mine orange".

speedriven | billet-wheel turbos

2010-12-02T10:10:00.000-05:00

LOOKS SPINNY TO ME

It's been a November here at Speedriven, and we've been pushing forward with our first batch of "production-ready" turbo upgrades (shown, above).

As you can see, the Speedriven Mercedes turbos feature all-new billet wheels, as well as re-machined housings and manifolds, which are then ceramic-coated to further improve the upgraded turbos' thermal efficiency. Every moving part is new or re-worked, and every static part is machined, honed, or coated to deliver the best possible response without heat-soaking after long runs.

Speedriven's billet-wheel turbo upgrades are also listed on the products page over at Speedriven.com, and are now available for all 2003+ biturbo V12 Mercedes, AMG, and Maybach cars, starting at 5990 USD for the turbos + tune.

speedriven | polished coolers

2010-11-16T15:40:00.001-05:00

OOH SHINY

This is the first (processed) picture of Speedriven's polished intercoolers for the biturbo V12 Mercedes and AMG cars. During several flat-out runs on a 95+ degree day in Goliad, Texas, intake temps never got above 120. That's good.

The top-mounted intercooler upgrades shown here are also listed on the products page over at Speedriven.com, and are now available in polished (shown), brushed, and wrinkle-black (my fav). Those pics should be ready later in the week ...

... in the meantime, we'll be gunning for someone's records. Stay tuned!

louisa makes it beautiful

2010-11-16T14:20:00.002-05:00

ANGRRY

If I had a list of people I know who should be rich and famous, The Shondes' Louisa Rachel Solomon would be at the top of it, since no one else is really still pushing the kind of Riot Grrl punk that made me really fall for music back in the 90's.

Which reminds me: danke, Mike!

This is Louisa, in action.

PUNK + VIOLIN = EPIC EPICOCITY

That video is from The Shondes' national tour earlier this year, and - no matter how dark and cold and windy it gets in Chicago, and no matter how much harder some things are than I thought they'd be, and no matter how much I worry and fret and fuss - Solomon's shiver-inducing voice and The Shondes' "Heavens to Betsy + a political message + violins + actual talent" formula always gets my head back where it should be.

Press "play" up there, and enjoy.

speedriven | texas mile video

2010-11-04T10:15:00.002-04:00

LOOKIN' GOOD

DSM Videos just posted this clip of 2 (out of 3) of the Speedriven SL600s lining up in Goliad just before cracking 190 mph (not bad for the windy conditions, but still a bit shy of the stated 200 mph goal). Good stuff, still, and a great underhood comparison of the Speedriven top-mounted intercoolers on stock and upgraded turbos.

Enjoy!

cornzilla takes it to 11 9

2010-10-27T20:40:00.001-04:00

GREEN AND MEAN

Over on the Switzer blog last week, I wrote about the how a Switzer R1K set the mph-in-a-1/4-mile record ... but the R1K wasn't the only high-powered Switzer GTR in attendance at Norwalk - Switzer's eco-conscious E900 GTR Nissan showed up to play, too (minus Amuse wing).

I've been a big fan of Cornzilla since the idea first started dancing in our heads last year, and big corn did not disappoint. The E900 blasted across the 1/4 mile mark at over 144 mph in just 9.8 seconds!

Video, below.

CORN > WHATEVER THE HELL IS IN A PRIUS

I'm not sure what the overall 1/4 mile records for et and mph on E85 are, but if Switzer's E900 isn't the fastest corn-burning GTR PKG available, it can't be too far off.

pretty slr moss is pretty

2010-10-25T11:40:00.004-04:00

WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF

I am a big, Big fan of Mercedes' discontinued SLR supercar, and none of the SLRs are more super than the ultra-rare Sterling Moss speedster.

In their bid to sell 75 of the permanently topless speedsters, Mercedes allowed for wild amounts of customization - which (along with boatloads of cash) allowed Teamspeed poster N Althani the freedom to build this gorgeous bi-color example of the carbon fiber exotic.

Heady stuff.

CLICK HERE for photos and the original post.

UPDATE!!

The car's owner just posted this video (below) showing the car from a bunch of angles, at night, in the middle of the day, inside, outside, and so on.

Take a look ...

I NEED MORE MONEY

... I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.

voting is a funny thing

2010-10-22T09:50:00.002-04:00

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

As you can see in the video (above) this voter is trying to cast his vote for Rick Perry, a Republican candidate for Governor. When he presses his finger to Perry's name, however, the machine selects Green Party candidate Deb Shafto. The machine isn't just skewing votes to her, either - the Green Party candidates for each of the other offices on the ballot are also being "voted" for.

He tries again, and again, and the same thing happens each time.

SO, have fun "voting" this November, and remember the words of Emma Goldman: if voting changed anything, they would make it illegal.

SOURCE: Gizmodo.

speedriven | new site is up

2010-10-21T11:10:00.001-04:00

PURPLE GOODNESS

The new Speedriven site is up, with new product photos, new links, and updated pricing information on Speedriven's core tuning products for V12 Mercedes and AMG cars. Most of the new site trades the small dynamic menus for a new, all-HTML/CSS "smart-phone-friendly" text links and photo-buttons.

Everything should work great on the new iPhones and iPads, too - so CLICK HERE to go visit and let me know if you find any broken links or typos. If you find any, I'll send you some stickers!

the bombshell fantasy

2010-10-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

NIIICE

Online automotive treasure-trove Jalopnik just posted this: Adriana Lima showing off the two-million-dollar "Bombshell Fantasy Bra" from Victoria's Secret, which is made of 18-karat white gold and encrusted with over 3000 jewels.

Apparently there is some sort of car in the picture as well, which you can see in glorious high-definition over at the original post.

awesome 80's benzos | part iv

2010-10-20T14:00:00.000-04:00

INDEN - WHEN YOU NEED TO BE SEXY AND BLURRY AT ONCE

What you see above is an absolutely GORGEOUS W126 S Class Mercedes-Benz built by German tuning firm Inden in 1991 to launch that company's line of then-new products.

You can't argue that the car has presence and a sense of monochromatic menace about it, and the 386 hp 6.0 L V8 was (in its day) quite the animal. Other mods include 3-pc. 18" aluminum Inden "Champion" rims wrapped in Pirelli PZero rubber and tucked under subtly flared arches grafted to the big sedan from a 560 SEC ... also ~~a metric shit-ton~~ lots of shiny black paint.

Simply wikked. CLICK HERE for more pics and a full Engrish-language write-up.

speedriven | goin' down to texas

2010-10-19T13:35:00.005-04:00

ALMOST THERE

Despite holding the Mercedes-Benz standing-mile record at 197.7 mph, Speedriven is still a relatively unknown name outside of MBWorld's tuning forums.

Believe me: being unknown sucks.

How do I know? Well, along with Marcins Kogut and Chlebowicz, I are Speedriven.

As such, I can tell you that (while a 197 mph Mercedes record is something really special to me and Marcin) people want to see that '200' ... and nothing short of that will win hearts and minds. So, to go get that 200, we're planning to send no less than three twin-turbo V12s to chase that first 200-mph-in-a-standing-mile-in-a-Mercedes-Benz dream.

OOH ... LENS FLARES

The 900 + hp SL600 shown above (the current record-holder, at 197.7 mph) features Speedriven's top-mounted water-to-air intercoolers and heat exchanger PKG, as well as a new turbo assembly and ceramic-coated Speedriven manifold leading out to motorsports-style muffler-delete exhaust.

GNARLY WELDS ON PRE-PRODUCTION COOLERS

Marcin and I agree that an SL600 isn't normally the kind of car we look at and say 'take out the mufflers'. In this case, though, we were going for maximum power, so it had to be done. When it was done, we were pleasantly surprised, and Marcin said that “the turbos muffle the sound pretty well, and the end result is very aggressive, without sounding 'boy-racer'. For a mile-run or a weekend type of car, the sound is perfect.”

The other two cars we're planing to take down to Texas are a similarly prepared custom-turbo CL65 AMG coupe and black-on-black SL600. With all of Speedriven's new hardware and software tweaks in place, we think we have what it takes to be the first tuners to take a Mercedes-Benz to 200 mph at the Mile.

CLICK HERE to download 8 more high-resolution pics (.zip file).

Enjoy!

busy bees

2010-10-19T11:10:00.005-04:00

In the past 6 weeks (since this) I have criss-crossed the country several times, put thousands of miles on the Routan, signed papers, written checks, and consumed ungodly amounts of coffee at several of this nation's finest rest-stops.

Why have I been doing all this?

There are many answers (as is the way of such things) but I've narrowed it down to the two most simple and obvious answers:

I'm moving to be closer to my son.

It's all part of the 5-year plan.

The part about being close to my boy should be pretty self-explanatory. Living in Florida with him and his mom in California was tough, but living in Ohio with them in Chicago (so close, yet so far) was unbearable. Now I'm in the same state, close by, and planning to become a much bigger part of his life ... which will be good for us both, I hope.

That second part about the 5-year plan is a bit trickier to explain, but over the course of the next few days (think "Texas Mile") all will be revealed.

SO, stay tuned for some philosophy, tuning, and more wikked-sikk project cars from all involved.

new switzer site is up

2010-09-05T13:10:00.003-04:00

I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU TO CLICK THIS LINK

As you may recall, I've gone freelance (on purpose) and my ties to Switzer are somewhat "looser" than they they've been in recent months, but I'm still doing web and PR work for them, and this is the splash-page for their new, all-HTML/CSS "smart-phone-friendly" website, which gets away from the "oh-so-2006" dynamic pull-down menus (which don't work so well if you have fat fingers or bad eyes) in favor of big, juicy photo-buttons.

Check it out (on your phone, if you can) and let me know what you think - there are bound to be some mistakes (I'm ~~only~~ mostly human, after all) so let me know about those, too.

Thanks!!

peel is back

2010-09-05T12:40:00.000-04:00

SEX A PEEL = BAD TAGLINE FOR NEW P50 AD

Built on the Isle of Man in the 1960’s and powered by a 49cc gas engine, the Peel P50 had a 40 mph top speed and delivered more than 80 mpg. It was the smallest production automobile ever built, and is just darling!

I want one. Steve wants one. You want one, too.

You can read more about the resurrection of the P50 over at Gas 2.0.

autobots godobots

2010-08-22T09:30:00.001-04:00

OPTIMUS PRIME DIED FOR YOU

Some things are sick and wrong. Other things are stupid, sick, and wrong. This Transformers-inspired church bulleting about Methodists "transforming people" is some unholy combination of weird, creepy, blasphemous, stupid, sick, and wrong.

Come on, people! Everyone knows Optimus Prime died on a table, not on a cross.

SADDEST MOVIE MOMENT EVER + DRAMATIC MUSIC = BAWW

Special thanks to the Geekologie writer for digging up this little, um ... gem? Here's hoping the Methodicons don't get you.

s400 hybrid | performance and compromise

2010-08-21T20:00:00.001-04:00

ALL DYNO DAYS SHOULD BE THIS PERVERSE

This article marks my official return to the Gas 2.0 crew after nearly a year's absence (I've been busy), and was actually made possible by none other than Ray Wert, of Jalopnik/King-maker fame.

How much fun was it to strap a brand-new S400 hybrid to Switzer's Dynojet? Gas 2.0 readers don't want to hear about that, but I can tell you here: an electric hiss and thick smell of ozone filled the shop when this thing was running, and the twisted glee we took from putting the big Benz through the ringer is challenged only by the most fun thing we have ever tested, ever.

Click here to check out the full article.

big beginnings

2010-08-20T08:20:00.001-04:00

There have been so many huge changes and new developments and stunning realizations for me these past few weeks, I hardly know where to begin ... or if I should begin at all, honestly. This is a goofy, geeky car-blog, after all, not an self-indulgent excuse to spill my guts.

In my experience, spilling your guts is exactly as attractive as it sounds. Still, I believe I should make a few things plain.

First, I am no longer the sales manager of Switzer Performance. I have no hard feelings towards Tym or the crew there, but it's time for me to pursue something a bit more "me". I'll still be working on Tym's website, answering any questions that come in through email, etc., but I am no longer a part of the shop's day-to-day operations.

Second, I am no longer doing things I do not like to do. I like reading, I like writing, and I absolutely love lording my knowledge and experience over the other humans. Luckily, the guys at Gas 2.0 have agreed to give me a chance to try my hand at automotive writing, welcoming me with open arms and enthusiasm (again) and encouraging me to do just that.

Third, I have come to realize that I would be nowhere in life without people like Mike Switzer, Jody Moeggenberg, Frankie Berti, and Nalan Li, who continue to be incredibly supportive of my (potentially suicidal) decision to pursue a more "freelance" sort of existence.

Today is August 20th, so (while I'm here) I want to say "Happy Birthday" to mom, "I love you" to dad and Allison, and "come home soon" to Nalan, who is imposing her pointy little will on me from Brooklyn this weekend.

Thanks to everyone, then, for everything these past few weeks. I hope you stick around, too - because things are really starting to get interesting.

gay zombie porn banned in australia

2010-08-19T16:20:00.003-04:00

BRAAINS! BRAAAAAAAINS!! ALSO SEX

Today's zombie news is about something many Americans consider to be innate: a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of ~~happiness~~ hot, gay, zombie sex.

LA Zombie is a gay, alien, and slightly pornographic zombie film by Bruce LaBruce, which gained a bit of notoriety when it was banned by the Melbourne International Film Festival last month.

Initially, this got me thinking about Americans' rights to free expression, along with rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and my initial reaction went something like "If it makes those Aussies happy to watch gay zombie porn, let'em watch it!" ... then I read the synopsis (courtesy of wikipedia).

A homeless schizophrenic (François Sagat), thinks he's an alien zombie sent to earth. Roaming the streets of Los Angeles in search of dead bodies (either finding the bodies or witnessing a murder), trying to bring the dead back to life by engaging in homosexual sex.

... and that is just the tip of the iceberg!

The problems Australia's "decency police" seem to have with the film spring from all the fatal wound penetration, necrophilia, full frontal nudity, etc. taking place on a 40' tall screen (in stunning HD!).

So, yeah ... not much to defend there, but I'm too busy thinking about hot zombie actors with scalp tattoos to care. LA Zombie Hardcore is slated to come out after Halloween - see you at the premier!!

excuses to write about lancias

2010-08-18T18:20:00.002-04:00

TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS

You should learn to let go of the things you loved when you were five. I'm not telling you to forget those things and people that made some moments specialer than others, here. I'm just saying that holding on to these things can lead to unhealthy obsessions.

If you've been reading along for a while, it should come as no surprise that I've found yet another excuse to write about Lancia's impending return to US shores over on Gas 2.0.

Enjoy!

cornzilla v. widowmaker

2010-08-18T17:40:00.001-04:00

CHUCK NORRIS v. MR. ROGERS

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, Tym Switzer-style. Witness: 900+ hp R911S GT2 Porsche v. 900+ hp E900 GTR Nissan (somewhere in Mexico, of course).

It doesn't get much better than this, kids. Enjoy!

bright futures

2010-08-04T15:00:00.001-04:00

THIS WOULD BE MORE FUN IF IT HAD MORE LIGHTS

Bright Automotive is getting a second shot at a bright future, thanks to a $5 million investment from GM Ventures. The general thinking behind the loan is that investmenet and exposure will help Bright Automotive attract investors and, eventually, qualify for up to $450 million in federal "green energy" loans.

Bright was scheduled to begin selling its vans earlier this year, but the post-2008 economy means investors are scarce, pushing the launch date to 2013/14.

GM has a vested interest in Bright's success, of course, and provides a number of key components to the van. For its efforts, GM hopes to offer Bright's "Bright Idea" van as a smaller, CAFE-friendly alternative to its existing Chevrolet Express commercial vans.

a new hope

2010-08-03T21:30:00.002-04:00

BLUE IS SO MY COLOR

Any day that starts off with a new Lancia is a good day, but a day that starts out with a new pad, a surprisingly competent McBarista, and ~~a reason to wake up in the morning~~ a new Lancia Stratos is certainly one for the books.

I won't lie, I've been going through a lot these last few months. Some good, of course, but mostly digging myself from one rut into another ... but Lancia Stratos' have (historically) proven to be especially good at getting from rut to rut in record time. This new Stratos prototype was caught testing around Fiat's corporate proving grounds, and (being powered, potentially, by a Multi-air version of Fiatsler's new Phoenix V6 engine) might prove to be the quickest Lancia yet!

I'll definitely be revisiting this new Lancia soon, I hope. For now, though, I'll have to be happy just looking at the pretty picture and watching some historic Stratos racing footage. Thanks to Ray Wert and the guys at Jalopnik for making my day.

the farnsworth parabox black hole

2010-07-23T20:30:00.004-04:00

DAMN GIRAFFE GOT LOOSE AGAIN

I love Futurama. On some days, it's my favorite show on television. Other days, however, I defend it vigorously as high art, forward-thinking science, and ground-breaking philosophic inquiry.

Not often, but still.

One Futurama episode in particular throws me into fits of hysterics whenever I watch it: the Farnsworth Parabox. An obvious play on the word "paradox", the episode involves one of Professor Farnsworth's experiments, which creates a parallel universe, fully contained in a box.

INSERT BIG BANG JOKE HERE

What has me thinking about this is, of course, something stupid I read on the internet about our universe existing inside a black hole in another universe. The universe that the black hole containing our universe is in is in a black hole in a different universe.

Or maybe this one.

Or something.

All of which leads me to daydreaming about an imaginary, parallel world where my best friend is a small, computerized cube what talks to me about robots, Godzilla, and sometimes transforms into a museum tour guide. Sort of like K9, but without any of the creepy "am I supposed to walk it?" vibe, you know?

Maybe you don't, but that's OK - it's the weekend, people! Live it up!!

serenity now

2010-07-21T20:10:00.000-04:00

LLOYD BRAWN SOLD THREE COMPUTERS TODAY

This one is definitely a Mike, and for every Seinfeld fan out there who appreciates a good video/genre mash-up.

Enjoy!

i have stuff to say about things

2010-07-21T11:50:00.002-04:00

IF WAS DRIVING IT WOULD BE LESS CLOSE

Recently, DSG blogger Eran Dahan interviewed me for an article he was doing on Switzer Performance. I've posted the first part of it here, and invite you to check out the rest of the interview over at DSG.

Enjoy!

A while back, I mentioned that at sometime, I'd have the chance to interview the power experts at Switzer Performance. Well today was that day, we got to have a chat with tuning firm synonimous with insanely powerful cars. Thanks to Tym Switzer and his team, the company has consistently released kick-ass cars like the Nissan GT-R P700 and the Porsche 997 P800 through the use of innovation. I bet you'd like to get to know these guys now right? Well here it is, our interview with Switzer Performance Innovation!

DSG Performance: So let’s start with your story. How and when did Switzer come to be?

Jo Borras: In the early 90's, Tym Switzer began working on DSM turbos through a Chrysler dealership in Ohio where he was a technician. He studied the way the turbos worked and began tuning his own car after work, which led him to transition form the dealership/service side of the industry and into the racing/tuning side. That first car, a white turbo Talon, was eventually featured in "Turbo and High-tech Performance" magazine in the US.

DSG: What was the first car you put the Switzer touch on?

JB: As above, Tym's own 1991 Eagle Talon (DSM).

DSG: What project car signified a turning point in transforming the Switzer brand into what we all see today?

JB: One of Tym's Mitsubishi Evo clients had a Porsche with a "built" motor from another tuning firm. They had had the car for over a year, it had been sent back and forth across the US, and it wasn't right. The client asked Tym to take a look at the car, even though Porsche wasn't Tym's specialty. Tym found the problem that day: one of the technicians at "brand x motorsports" had left a socket in the engine case, which was destroying the engine. The client asked Tym to rebuild the engine, and it ran STRONG, which led to other clients of "brand x" hearing about the car and sending their own cars to Tym. Eventually, Tym began addressing not only build-quality issues, but design issues, which led to developing the Switzer MONSTER intercoolers and, eventually, entire comprehensive packages.

Didn't realize I was so eloquent, did you? Read the rest of the interview here.

switzer ups the tranny ante

2010-07-07T16:55:00.006-04:00

RED IS SEXXXY

Tuners everywhere rejoiced when Porsche introduced an upgraded Tiptronic transmission with its 997 Turbo models. The five-speed automatic/manual, built for Porsche by German neighbors Mercedes-Benz, is capable of handling as much as seven hundred horsepower in some applications ... and, for most tuners, that's all the capacity they will ever need.

For Ohio-based Switzer Performance, however, 700 hp is far from enough. “We first noticed the limitations of the 997 Tiptronic with our P700 (l4) PKG, which, pushed hard on certain high-octane fuels, can cause slipping in the trans.,” explains Tym Switzer, owner and chief engineer of Switzer Performance. “When we released our P800 kit for the 997 Turbos, which makes over eight hundred horsepower, we were forced to limit sales to manual-transmission cars. This didn’t satisfy the customers who wanted the kind of ultimate straight-line performance that the Tiptronic can offer, and – to be frank - it didn’t satisfy us.”

After spending a considerable amount of time reprogramming Porsche's transmission control unit (TCU) software to increase the torque limits, Switzer realized that effectively putting more than seven hundred horsepower through the Tip cars would require something more than a software-based solution.

Working with development partners in the US and Europe, Switzer disassembled, upgraded, and rebuilt the Tiptronic transmission to meet customer demands for higher hp projects. The first builds produced transmissions that were stronger and sharper than the factory unit, but not strong enough to contain Tym's hard-hitting P800. This final effort, however, Switzer and his European counterparts pulled out all the stops: additional clutches eliminate slippage, additional friction surfaces ensure more efficient power delivery, a modified valve body to improve shift speed, and (last, but not least) another round of transmission programming which enables the Tiptronic to make the most of its uprated internals.

MORE STACK HEIGHT FTW

On its maiden voyage, the new 997 Turbo P800 Tiptronic blasted from 0-60 mph in a scant 2.8 seconds. On standard tires. With standard air pressure. On pump gas.

Subsequent tests confirm that Switzer had produced one of the quickest daily-driver Porsches in history - and Tym isn’t shy about using the “B-word” in discussing the car’s performance, either. “These cars have Bugatti performance from 0-60. We’re still perfecting the calibrations, but we expect our clients will go Veyron hunting very soon, and those guys don't like to lose.”

STRAP YOURSELF IN AND FEEL THE G'S

Switzer is in no hurry to share the precise secrets of building nine-hundred-horse-capable Tiptronic transmissions, but the company is perfectly willing to build up transmissions for owners of other tuner cars, as well. “Of course, I have to believe that our P800 kit continues to be the ideal daily-driver/trackday package, but some clients have a comfortable working relationship with TechArt or 9ff. They still want a quicker Tiptronic car that they can turn up the boost on, though, and we can work with them to make that happen, and help them get the most out of the investment they've already made” says Switzer.

Drivers who participate in 0-100 or 1/8 mile dragstrip challenges may find Switzer P800 Tiptronic to be the perfect weapon; with the PCCB ceramic brakes and the 911’s traditionally brake-friendly weight distribution, 0-100-0 supremacy is all but assured.

Switzer's transmission upgrades start at 7990 USD, but anyone who wants to hit a hundred miles per hour before the most supercars make their way to sixty may consider it money well spent.

You can see a full, high-resolution photo gallery on Flickr!

sub5zero finds religion

2010-07-06T23:05:00.000-04:00

LOVE IS A WHITE BOX FESTOONED WITH MARTINI LOGOS

That I love Lancias and galloping elephants is well-documented in the pages.

Less well-documented, however, are the histories of Lancia's fabulous HF cars. A criminal oversight that my friend Ari Cox (from Sub5Zero) is working to rectify, beginning with the ultimate off-road overdog: Lancia's Delta HF Integrale (1978-1993).

CLICK HERE for a great read ... even if you are ~~a Godless Nazi~~ not a dyed-in-the-wool Lancia fanatic.

Enjoy!

dear chicago

2010-07-06T21:55:00.001-04:00

BETTER THAN THE ALBUM VERSION

Dear Chicago, we had a great time this past weekend, and don't want too much more time to pass without saying something about rest-stop coffee, pie-covered fingers, that foot-fetish cartoon, missing museum maps, scary dinosaurs, stolen bus rides, the ferris wheel, ninja turtles, the electric fan, that punny panda bread, my first curry buffet, epic chocolate cheesecake, happy-face fireworks on the water, too-long talks deep into the night, fish-head highway snacks, and needlessly tricky games of 20 questions.

Thank you.

kobayashi thrills in valencia

2010-06-27T16:26:00.005-04:00

KO KO B YEAH SHEEEE !!!

Kamui Kobayashi is one quick little dude, and he continues to impress me.

Why?

I'm glad you asked. See, Kobayashi drove his Sauber almost all the way to the end of this weekend's European Grand Prix in Valencia on a single set of tires. That feat alone would be impressive enough, but Kobayashi was keeping his (seriously out-gunned) Sauber ahead of (2009 world champion) Jenson Button's McLaren-Mercedes and just behind Sebastian Vettel's Newey-designed Red Bull and (2008 world champion) Lewis Hamilton.

With seven laps to go, Kobayashi came in for a mandatory stop, switching out to fresh rubber. He re-joined the action just behind (2005 and 2006 world champion) Fernando Alonso and Sebastian Buemi, who were battling each other for 7th spot.

7th place is a good position for a Sauber driver, but the man from Japan wasn't done ... just watch.

WATCH CLOSELY AND YOU MIGHT SEE A TORCH BEING PASSED

That was Kamui Kobayashi putting an authoritative pass on Fernando Alonso, widely considered to be among the best Grand Prix drivers in history, and the guy who finally drove the stake into Schumacher and Ferrari in their prime.

Great stuff, Kamui - AMAZING! I can't wait to see what the future holds.

corn-fed godzilla

2010-06-22T15:37:00.006-04:00

NOW AVAILABLE IN STORMTROOPER WHITE AND CORNHUSKER YELLOW

When Nissan introduced the latest R35 version of its GTR in 2008, the international press was quick to nickname the car “Godzilla” - as much for the car’s size as for its fire-breathing performance - and Nissan was equally quick to call the car both “perfect” and “untunable”. That “perfect” label is a matter of opinion, of course, but enough GTR buyers felt the car lacked sufficient oomph that a number of tuning firms began to lay waste to the idea of an “untunable” car, building massively-powerful GTR Nissans along the way. One such firm is Tym Switzer’s Ohio-based Switzer Performance, and their massively-powerful GTR is called the P800 - a comprehensively tuned 800 hp track-weapon that’s as much at home on Main Street as it is on the back straight.

Of course, there are some enthusiasts who will always want more - and when one of these enthusiasts contacted Switzer about pushing the P800 GTR to the limit, the crew at Switzer Performance got to work developing the car you see here.

SEEMS ZIPPY ENOUGH

“The P800 is already at the limit of what we feel comfortable for the stock GTR transmission,” explains Switzer. “So to go further we really needed to beef up the transmission. We contacted Dodson Motorsports in New Zealand and explained what our goals were with the car - 900 hp, more clutch area, ad smooth shifting at every speed. The new transmission is the product of several months’ co-development between Switzer and Dodson, and is exactly what we needed in order to start pushing the GTR forward beyond 800 hp.”

The next thing Switzer needed to address to keep “pushing the GTR forward” was fuel. “We didn’t want to just deliver a race-gas package that tethered the client to a fuel drum in his garage, but we wanted to be able to turn up the boost, also.” The solution? Readily-available E85.

“In a way, the solution was all around us,” offers Switzer, whose shop is located deep in Ohio’s farm country, surrounded - literally! - by cornfields. “E85 isn’t without its trade-offs. We had to modify the fuel system to handle the fuel and significantly increase the size of the injectors, also, but in the end we had a fuel that gave us everything we needed to crank up the boost on this car and deliver over 900 hp.” The E85 delivered other benefits as well: it is significantly “greener” than the pump-gas and race-gas versions of the GTR. “With most high-horsepower cars, you can barely breathe after just a few dyno runs. With the E85, we were able to run pull after pull to dial in the tune without feeling any effects of the usual emissions. It’s hardly scientific, but there was a noticeable improvement in the air quality in the shop compared to race gas.”

The final product - dubbed the E900 for “Ethanol fuel, 900 hp” - is a fast, capable package that offers linear power delivery and massive midrange torque with superior transient response compared to larger-turbo/race-fuel combinations, while maintaining a bit of environmental responsibility along with its blistering sub-6-second 60-130 mph acceleration.

GREEN AND MEAN

This first E900 also sports an Amuse carbon fiber aero package, 3-way adjustable suspension, and 20” BBS wheels that are an inch wider than stock at all four corners. Switzer’s new E85-fueled E900 PKG is available now. Contact Switzer Performance for more.

the naked ape zombie carwash video

2010-06-05T01:10:00.001-04:00

THEY DROVE IN FOR A FEW COLD ONES

I stumbled upon this gem during my daily zombie search (I have a daily zombie search), and it is awesome! Hordes of hot zombie women washing a car with their ~~warm~~ soapy zombie bodies and foaming at the mouth ... necrophilia hasn't looked this good since the last Twilight movie!

Enjoy!

the year we forgot to make contact

2010-06-02T22:50:00.004-04:00

SURE IS PRETTY OUT THERE

2010 is a year charged with meaning in the sci-fi universe. In the fictional world created by acclaimed author Arthur Clarke, 2010 is the year that America makes contact with alien life on Europa.

For the uninitiated, Europa is one of the dozens of moons orbiting the planet Jupiter.

While Jupiter's moons may seem inhospitable to life at first glance, NASA scientists believe that Europa might be the most significant source of liquid water in the solar system, with massive sub-surface seas capable of covering every inch of Earth's moon under many thousands of feet of water - water that is heated by the churning forces of Jupiter's massive gravity acting on Europa's metallic core.

In short: Europa seems ideally suited to support what we think of as life ... sort of like the short-lived Lotus sportscar of the same name.

I BET YOU WERE WONDERING WHEN WE WOULD GET TO THE CAR

That's a long way to go to get to an obscure Lotus model that never hit US shores, I'll grant you, but you can't deny the linguistic symmetries here.

For the uninitiated, Europa is one of the dozens of variants of Lotus' diminutive Elise.

Lotus' Elise requires no introduction to the automotive enthusiast. It is a petite, nimble little car that exemplifies Lotus' corporate obsession with lightweight construction. The Elise is small, it is cramped, it is stiff, it is loud, and it is wonderful ... if you're in to that sort of thing. Most people aren't.

Cue the Lotus Europa, which was always intended as a bigger, roomier, softer, quieter, and wonderfuler version of Lotus' demanding Elise, marketed to people as a Lotus that could be driven to work, to school, to market, to dinner, and back home.

In short: Europa seems ideally suited to support what we think of as life ... sort of like the Jovian moon of the same name.

SURE IS PRETTY IN THERE

2010, then, stands out as a year that is doubly disappointing for me, personally. On the one hand, America seems no closer to sending humans into the Jovian system than it was twenty years ago. On the other, Lotus announced that it would be discontinuing the Europa line in all markets.

I admit that I haven't always been kind to the Europa (neither has Chrysler), but I will be very honest and also admit the Europa is more appealing than the sexy, slinky, but ultimately derivative Evora that is replacing it. It was a different animal, conceived when Lotus' designers didn't have more than a few nickels to rub together and had to cobble together a GT contender out of - quite literally - a bit of clay and whatever they could scrounge up from Proton's Malaysian parts bin.

Lotus were more romantic then. Lotus were the underdogs, and the Europa GT was the product of underdogs who aimed high to challenge the market's overdogs (?) like Chevy's Corvette and Porsche's 911. The Evora challenges the same Corvettes and Porsches that the Europa did, of course, but it's a more polished, sterile sort of thing. Where the Europa was chunky, the Evora is slick, and in the days since the Europa was announced GM has gone bankrupt, Porsche has been bought by Volkswagen, and Lotus? Lotus has been riding high, no longer an underdog at all ...

... which leaves me feeling an all-too familiar kind of disappointment.

shameless plug for my other blog

2010-05-28T21:40:00.004-04:00

CARBOTASTIC COMRADE

I've been reading these Russian posts from the past year or so - stories filled with Switzer's mad Russians racing their super-fast cars at evil speeds on public roads, seemingly without a care in the world.

They fascinate me, these Russians. I want to know more about them. How do they think? Where do they live? What - most importantly - do they eat?

If you've read my other blog, then you know already I'm a bit of a foodie, so it seems a natural enough question to me. You'll also know that I have a real problem with Ohio winters, so how do these Russians get through theirs? By loading up on that superb Russian staple: bread!

I was as surprised as you probably are to learn that bread is one food item a Russian table is rarely without.

Now, we all know that no decent human can deny the satisfaction of a freshly-baked loaf of crusty bread, but the Russians elevate its importance to an intense level of seriousness. The Russian intellectuals have asserted that "the quality of bread is the quality of our life".

The importance the Russians have placed on their bread isn't recent, either. During the Cold War, the baking of bread was industrialized, and the Soviet government fixed its price, making ~~a bland, homogenized, and stereotypically communistic sort of~~ bread accessible to all.

In the home, more traditional wives and grandmothers prided themselves on their mad bredmakin' skillz. How did they organize culinary throw-downs in Russia? By pairing off a dense and chewy Borodinsky against a Chorni Chleb - a particular black bread with more than twenty ingredients, including rye flour, chocolate, shallots, coriander, and caraway seeds ... it sounds divine.

All this emphasis on bread and baking follows the Russian proverb, "bread is at the head of everything," and it seems to do a body good

In any event, I hope you enjoyed the little food-based side-track. I'll be posting quite a bit more about Russian foods on Let Me Be Frankie, so keep checking in there in-between your weekly doses of Sunshine.

And, finally, because I couldn't resist ...

IN SOVIET RUSSIA BOBBY FLAYS YOU

... ah, Yakov. You taught us well.

ai can haz lildog

2010-05-25T22:30:00.001-04:00

SQUEEEEEE

I am not generally a sucker for small, cute things. As my ~~friends~~ co-workers will surely tell you, my tastes usually lean towards the embiggened.

Still, the LittleDog robot shown above (part of the US military's advanced DARPA program) has won my heart ... and I totally want one.

I will call him George, and I will hug him and pet him.

sunshine supertank

2010-05-25T21:20:00.000-04:00

LUCKIEST GRANDKIDS EVER

A 40% scale Sherman tank is probably the most awesome tank in the tank pantheon (tankatheon?). Think about it: a mini-tank is practical, cute, and so easy to make that it only took five videos to record its construction ... really, you should already have one.

The auto-obsessed crew at Jalopnik posted the DIY tank videos yesterday, and it seems like there are quite a few of these tanks actually cruising around out there.

I'm making a Hello Kitty version ...

I WANT A HELLO KITTY BATTLE MECH NEXT

... because I can.

switzer r911s > porsche gt2 rs

2010-05-25T12:55:00.004-04:00

AT SPEED | NELSON LEDGES

I covered the Autoblog love for the new R911S last week, but I keep looking at the spec sheet in a rare blend of horror and disbelief.

Simply, Porsche's 2011 GT2 RS may be the fastest roadgoing car in the company's history, but Tym Switzer's new 900 hp GT2 R911S leaves the mighty GT2 RS for dead - both on the straights (with almost 50% more whp) and in the curves (with superior JRZ titanium 3-way adjustable suspension and ultralight Switzer signature wheels).

Click here for the official release (by Jack Baruth!) on Switzer's official news blog.

godzilla and the angry inch ccr

2010-05-20T12:35:00.002-04:00

Autoblog has been sending some big love Switzer's way this week, with not one but two big posts about the latest Tymme turbo terrors.

First, Switzer's latest R911S GT2 was released, with a power-to-weight ratio that simply "eviscerates" Porsche latest GT2 RS. You can check out Autoblog's post (with photo gallery) and the original Switzer release if you like, but the short story is this: substantially more GO.

A few days later, Autoblog posted the following video from Switzer's Swedish dealer Advan Performance, who ran their P800 GTR Nissan shop car against an equally powerful Koenigsegg CCR which had been effectively dispatching all challengers before lining up to the Advan car.

What happened next?

GODZILLA IS UNBEATABLE FROM A DIG

As you can see, the CCR had little hope of catching the GTR from a 30 mph roll, and only a roll from about 60 overcame the Nissan's magic traction advantages. It seems that, from a stop, the GTR is a class or two ahead of the Koenigsegg CCR ... which puts it in some pretty rare company.

Coming up: more Switzer v. Bugatti action. Stay tuned!

more ekans than arbok

2010-05-18T23:15:00.000-04:00

THE TINIEST ASS YOU CAN TAP WITHOUT SETTING OFF AN AMBER ALERT

That, dear friends, is a 5/8 scale Shelby 427 Cobra - a pint-sized replica of one of the nastiest, fire-breathingest, hairy-chestedest roadsters ever to lay rubber to tarmac.

The guys at Autoblog found this Kei-class kitcar in Japan, where tax laws make normal, 'murican-sized cars cost prohibitive to own and drive. This little number makes do with a 660 cc turbocharged Suzuki engine putting out almost 160 hp - more than enough to scoot past the odd Daihatsu Mira that might get in the way during Salaryman's soul-crushing morning commute.

Check out the rest of the post (along with a comprehensive photo gallery) here.

Enjoy!

PS
If you don't know the difference between Ekans and Arbok, then how will you know what to yell when they're on your motherf***ing plane?

what 700 hp costs now

2010-05-12T17:55:00.000-04:00

TYM SWITZER POINTS AT A SCREEN

The 2010 996 Porsche market is the 1996 DSM market, and to stay ahead of the ebbs and flows of a constantly-evolving demographic, Switzer Performance has rolled out a trio of new, value-priced tuning packages that include new, billet-wheel K16 turbo upgrades capable of delivering a buttery 700 hp on 93 octane pump gas.

THERE IS NO ~~SPOON~~ LAG

Switzer's new P700 Best Value PKG for 996 TT includes the following:

Switzer Performance Exhaust
Switzer/Softronic DME Calibration
Softronic OBD Flash Programmer
High Flow BMC Air Filter
Iridium Performance Spark Plugs
Switzer High Flow Fuel Injector System
Switzer Silicone Hose Kit
Billet Diverter Valves
Switzer-modified K16 Billet-wheel Turbos
HD Wastegate Actuators
Electronic Boost Controller

Take note: this is a next-generation tuning solution that does away with a conventional 5-bar fuel pressure regulator from "those other guys", replacing it with a high-flow injection system that allows more precise and efficient tuning that what is possible with the 5-bar.

The P700 Best Value PKG for 996 TT is available now from Switzer dealers, starting at $8995. Contact Switzer Performance for more.

i write about wine | part iv

2010-05-11T23:40:00.002-04:00

WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT

That right there is what I have been waiting for since I was five years old: a black Lancia Beta coupe.

You see, I did not grow up in a normal home. Not that anyone else I know did, but still - this home was blessed with an astonishing array of neat cars and people who were not afraid to test the cars' top speeds with a blood-alcohol content well above the legal limit and a five-year-old child riding shotgun, fire extinguisher at the ready.

Why the fire extinguisher? We had a few Renaults.

WHICH MAY ALSO EXPLAIN THE ALCOHOL

On the other end of the spectrum, though, were a pair of big silver Mercedes SEL sedans, a pair of 5-liter Mustang GTs, a 280ZX Datsun, an orange VW Camper van, and the reddest, loudest, tightest 1975 Lancia Beta coupe in all existence.

When I turned 14, the keys to Lancia were handed over to me.

I didn't want it, but there was no denying that I loved the Lancia. I hated it, too. It never ran. None of my friends knew what it was. It was a pile.

Even so, I would wash it every weekend. I would tinker with it, helped along by aunts and uncles who pointed out the Weber carbs and taught me how to gap the plugs.

Every now and then it would start.

Every now and then it would run.

Every now and then it was perfect, and I would charge around Kendall with the Ansa exhaust signing, not a care in the world.

I won't depress you with the whys and hows of that car's exit from my life. I will say, however, that I tried to recapture that experience twice since then, with a pair of newer red Betas, but they didn't work out.

"We" didn't work out, I should say, and any gearheads addicted to Italian cars of a certain age, I think, will understand my meaning there.

All of this leads me to something that's been on my mind these past few days: the potentially upcoming 2012 Chrysler Delta, by Lancia.

SHE COMES ~~WITH~~ IN THE CAR

I find myself asking all of my industry buddies about the car on an almost weekly basis, but few have seen it. Chrysler's trotted it out to a few auto shows, sure, but the general-public 'Muricans who saw it didn't know quite what to make of this premium compact. It was the sex of the thing; too much, I think, for a bunch of clods who think an Edsel looks like a vulva, you know?

I've put out some feelers to try to get the real scoop, and see if maybe - just, maybe - this will be the one that brings back that lovin' feeling ...

... in black, this time.

following godzilla

2010-05-11T11:35:00.000-04:00

YOU CAN COME ALONG - BUT STAY BEHIND ME

Forgive the poetic slant to this week's prose, but it all sort of struck me at once: The spring. The breeze. The sunset. All of that caught up to me last week, as I followed Godzilla to Columbus, Ohio.

I was piloting Jo's portly white Volkswagen Routan behind a very special car. A supercar if ever I saw one. A foreign devil, with a decidedly America twist. A Switzer-modified R35 GTR Nissan, ripping along the highway at full song.

Dubbed "Godzilla" by the foreign press, this particular example of R35 was angry and loaded up on power. I followed its taillight signature like a meddling kid after a mystery, mesmerized by its speed and the setting sun across its "super-silver" flanks.

The GTR blipped and barked now and then, passing lesser cars (and they are all lesser cars) effortlessly with a faint puff of smoke and a malevolent whine from the turbos. The car rushed ahead like it beheld some secret to happiness, and I was left behind in its wake - left alone in the quiet VW to notice the full-blown greenness of Spring that I'd forgotten after all of these months of Ohio winter.

The van hustled to keep up, whipping past rust-colored barns, a yellow horse statue (!?), and a sign that said "hidden drives". Even as far back as I was, I barely missed the fact that my radio wasn't on. It was enough to listen to the hum coming from the GTR and hear the swoosh of the blurred road.

LIKE THAT

I laughed at the sight of the GTR passing a Mennonite horse. The horse turned its head to watch the car's passing with a sort of inter-species "right on, brutha!" nod.

The car reached its new home after two too brief hours, and nestled into its new garage home alongside another supercar if I ever saw one. Its owner beaming like a little kid. I knew what he looked like at five years old on Christmas morning, I think. With a car like that in the stable, I think I'd look the same.

to russia with love | part iv

2010-05-05T12:59:00.003-04:00

OOOH IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SUMMER

It's been a long winter, but the Switzer P800 Russian test-pilots are back in business. Their first match-up? A million-dollar, one-thousand-plus-horsepower Bugatti Veyron supercar.

How'd the boys do? Dragtimes hasn't released their final cut of the video (with VBox GPS timing of the results) but you can bench race this thing every which way from Sunday ... which I have been ... since October.

Enjoy the teaser, guys ... and keep in mind: that gap between the Switzer P800s and the Veyron? Over 1.3 million USD.

awesome 80's childhood: the matrix

2010-04-20T21:57:00.008-04:00

OTHER PEOPLE HAVE CROSSES

If you were a child in the 1980's, the Matrix was at the center of your robotic universe. Long before Keanu Reeves took some crazy pills that were handed to him by a heavily armed and visibly angry black man wearing leather pants in an abandoned warehouse because of something he read online, the Matrix was actually a clever thing.

QUALIFIED PHARMACIST

See, back in 1985, the Matrix allowed Hot Rod to become Rodimus Prime, light the Autobots' darkest hour, and open a can of thinly-veiled Christian whoop-ass up on Unicron (who had horns, dammit! HORNS!). The Matrix also allowed Hasbro to pump out an entirely new line of toys, which you had to have, because the old ones were - old ... or, something.

In any event, Timothy Miller's Deviant Art gallery had the ~~incredibly dorky~~ totally awesome stained-glass Matrix of Autobot Leadership up there, and I had to post something about it.

You're welcome.

formula pr0n

2010-04-20T20:40:00.000-04:00

OOH BABY

Yesterday was my birthday, and among the various cards and gifts was the little gem above, which is as close to erotic reading as I will get.

Peppered with historical commentary by Gordon Murray, the Art of the Formula 1 Race Car reads like a Penthouse magazine, complete with letters from the men who were There. They are hard to believe, these accounts of heroism and technical brilliance - but, like those letters to Penthouse, you find yourself wanting to believe.

I've read it through once already, and re-read the story of the Leyton House CG901 twice already. Great stuff!

1 in 40 of you can do 2 things at once

2010-04-14T19:45:00.002-04:00

According to the Psychonomic Bulletin and Review, 39 in 40 humans ~~are a bunch of troglodytes~~ have one-track minds. For that lucky 1 in 40, however, mental multi-tasking is possible.

TECHNICALLY YOU ARE 1 IN 40 NOW

Natural multi-taskers were discovered during the course of another study, which attempted to determine whether driving while distracted was dangerous.

After claiming their Master of the Obvious awards, the scientists realized that the driving abilities of approximately 1 in 40 test subjects remained constant (or improved!) while distracted by solving math problems or talking on phones.

These special 1 in 40 have been dubbed "supertaskers" by the scientists involved, who obviously hope to diminish their innate awesomeness by saddling them with a crap codename.

WE ALL KNOW HOW THIS WILL END

The "supertasker" study's author, Jason Watson, warns humanity to not use this as an excuse to talk, eat tacos, apply nail polish, and brush hair while it drives. Still, I know a lot of people named Jason, and I'm not impressed.

I think that means a paradigm shift is coming soon, which could be the next step in our evolution; and I, for one, welcome our new "supertasker" overloards, who will bring us to a new Golden Age of texting and driving, safely.

mike plays with legos | part iv

2010-04-13T21:00:00.001-04:00

I CAN HAZ SHRINKREI NAO

You know Ron Dennis is going to hate this, but - much as I agree with Ronnie's assessment of the big bug - this Lego rendition of Bugatti's million-dollar Veyron supercar is four kinds of wicked kickass.

A Lego Veyron would be trick enough for most blogs, sure - but this is Sunshine, so we expect more ... and this little bit of plastic awesome delivers with a FULLY FUNCTIONAL seven-speed sequential gearbox, a retractable hardtop, and active aero!

MORE SEX THAN YOUR LEGO X-WING

I have to thank the guys at Geekologie (again) for digging this one up. Originally posted on Mocpages.

schaaadenfreude | part i

2010-04-13T08:40:00.001-04:00

A study at the University of British Columbia showed that looking at pictures of sick and injured people seemed to boost the human immune system ... which means that, pretty soon, parents may be asking little Billy if he's taken his daily dose of schadenfreude!

This is something I've suspected all along, since watching people get smacked in the face has always made me feel better, happier, and more energetic.

I FEEL BETTER ALREADY

Too far?

Hardly! Participants in the study were exposed to ten minute slideshows of images of diseased people and other "unpleasantnesses", with the science-types measuring something at some point along the way.

The participants gave blood samples both before and after each slideshow. Next the researchers exposed these blood samples to a bacterial infection, and measured the extent to which white blood cells produced interleukin-6 (IL-6). IL-6 is a proinflammatory cytokine that white blood cells make when they detect microbial intruders. More IL-6 indicates a more aggressive immune response to infection. So, by measuring IL-6 before and after the slide show, the researchers were able to determine whether seeing pictures of disease-y people actually stimulated the immune system to fight infection more aggressively. And it did.

This elegantly explains how I made it through a snowy Ohio winter without getting sick - and totally justifies the time I spent laughing at all the people with flu vaccines that backfired horribly!

Now, take a look at the picture below ...

I LOOK SICK WHEN I PLAY WITH THE CONTRAST

... now, feel better, and don't say I never did anything to help the little people.

sunshine supercheese

2010-04-12T22:40:00.001-04:00

You like cheese?

The Amish are Ohio's gourmet cheese-gurus, and if you're an old man with a barn, they'll sell it to you!

Last weekend, we drove down to Ashland, OH and Grandpa Baum's famous "Grandpa's Cheese Barn and Village", where Granpda has been ~~exploiting Amish farmers~~ capitalizing on the fruits of Amish labor for decades.

Packed with every made-from-scratch delight this writer can imagine, Grandpa's Cheese Barn has ciders (blackberry, peach, red raspberry, and apple), jams (fig, raspberry, orange peel, and ginger), jerked meats (ha!), as well as a variety of cookies, coffees, and ice cream ...

... and then there were the cheeses.

SIXTY FEET OF COUNTER SPACE JUST. LIKE. THIS.

There was cheese everywhere in Grandpa's barn, and I'm not just talking about the schlock being pushed in the gift shop.

There was gouda, swiss, 'murican, and muenster. We tried triple-cream butter cheese that melted in our mouths. We sampled horseradish bacon cheddar, which was a glorious bacon-flavored kick in the mouth on our way to pinconning ... which was not obviously poison.

I mentioned the horseradish and bacon cheddar already, but we found more and more cheddars. Here were all manner cheddars, from cayenne (hot) and tomato (tasted like Spaghetti-O's) to strawberry.

We found something called beer cheese, which I truly believe was made by draining the distilled liquids of various corpses into week-old milk curds. I did not care for it, and plan on someday weaponizing it for sale to 3rd world dictators.

Being who I am, however, my favorite was the house special: Grandpa flavored butter, which was presented for sale un-ironically.

YOUNG GRANDPA

We are through the looking glass people. Tread lightly.

switzer porsches blitz yas marina

2010-04-02T12:52:00.006-04:00

ORANGE CRUSH OR COCAINE AND CHERRIES ... TOUGH CHOICE

Top Performance is the MidEast's leading automotive magazine, and they have just released images of next month's cover cars ... a pair of wicked-fast Switzer Turbo Porsches at Yas Marina circuit!

AWESOME!!

READY TO RUMBLE

I couldn't be more excited, and want to thank everyone involved for their help in making it happen.

Thanks, everyone! I can't wait to read the review ... which, I hope, is in English.

so not funny

2010-04-01T23:25:00.004-04:00

DOWN THE ROAD NOT ACROSS THE STREET

That's the image that greeted me when I went over to TFW2005 for my daily fix of giant robot goodness.

Not funny, guys. NOT FUNNY.

it was cold that day ... really

2010-04-01T19:40:00.004-04:00

eHARMONY 2.0

Notorious comedy group Improv Everywhere struck the New York City subway system earlier this morning, planting thousands of bottomless adventurers onto a number of random subway trains to make a statement about ... I dunno, genitals?

Best part of the video?

Skip ahead to 0:25 in, when the guy asks everyone involved to "be as respectful as possible, and - you know - try not to rub your genitals on anyone."

YOU CAN DISRESPECT THIS GUY ANYTIME

Gotta hand it to 'em, Improv Everywhere knows how to throw a party.

switzer does dallas goliad

2010-03-31T11:14:00.001-04:00

SWITZER P800 GTR NISSAN TAKES ON TEXAS

191 mph on 93 octane! Wow!!

After winning the GTR class at the TX2K10 shootout, our hot-shoe driver Jason pushed his Boulder Nissan | Switzer P800 GTR to more than 191 mph at last weekend's Texas Mile!

Keep in mind, Jason and his tech Eric built this car with an out-of-the-box P800 kit from Switzer Performance, with Switzer's “canned” roadrace calibrations and tuned to 93 octane … and the car ran STRONG at two grueling back-to-back weekend events, proving that Eric can wrench as well as Jason can drive, for sure!

Congratulations to the Boulder Nissan crew – you made us all look great, and it seems like you had fun doing it, too. We can't wait to hear about your next adventure with Godzilla!

Photo courtesy of Adam Barerra.

switzer does dallas

2010-03-24T16:06:00.005-04:00

BOULDER NISSAN SPONSORED P800 TAKES 1ST OVERALL AT TX2K10

Last weekend's shootout in Texas turned out to be a great event, with one GTR clocking an utterly blistering 9.89 second pass!

It was Jason's Boulder Nissan-sponsored Switzer P800 GTR Nissan, however, that took home gold in the GTR class, dominating the road-course competition, and powering through a number of 10.5 second 1/4 mile passes at over 138 mph.

You can see dozens of pictures of the event at this link. Enjoy!

dirty girls, clean cars

2010-03-22T19:54:00.003-04:00

TWO HOURS OF YOUR LIFE YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK

I once wrote that every website on the planet was somehow inferior to this one ... but since I stumbled upon this interactive (woot!) flash game from scenestealer, I'm not so sure.

Click on the link above to see what I mean ... be sure you have a few hours to kill.

switzer superhero | vtg turbo upgrades

2010-03-22T12:40:00.008-04:00

SWITZER P700/R750 VTG KIT | MOSCOW

The latest Porsche 911 's variable-vane turbochargers (VTG) are marvels of modern performance engineering that allow the 911's relatively small 6-cylinder “boxer” engine to deliver incredible horsepower, and help keep Porsche's flagship competitive with supercars boasting 10, 12, or even 16 cylinder engines. Even with nearly 500 hp from the factory, however, Porsche turbo owners still want more – more power, more speed, more everything. These performance enthusiasts demand superior performance, and have lofty expectations.

In order to meet those clients' lofty horsepower goals, it is necessary to increase the flow of air into the Porsche's engine – and since the primary function of any turbocharger is precisely to force air into an engine, upgrading the factory-provided VTG turbochargers is a logical step in the process of building additional power ... but Porsche clients don't want to sacrifice reliability to have more power.

This is the real problem faced by the modern tuner: clients want more performance, without more trips to the garage.

In order to provide a thrilling experience that is reliable enough to thrill time and time again, day or night, Monday through Sunday, we here at Switzer Performance have to deliver a package that is simply better than what the factory offers. We need an exhaust that flows more air. Intercoolers that remove more heat. We need turbos that are more efficient – that compress more air, and make less heat than the stock Porsche turbos.

How did we do it? By working closely with some of the industry's leading engineering firms and OE suppliers.

The close relationships we have with our development partners allows us to produce larger-than-stock compressor wheels with unique aero profiles specifically designed to achieve the airflow rates required for our P650/R680 and P700/R750 Porsche tuning packages. The new wheels are 11% larger than stock, and allow the Switzer turbos to move more air than the factory Porsche turbos, while generating less heat.

MORE AIR + LESS HEAT = MORE POWER + LESS MAINTENANCE

The Switzer VTGs have other competitive advantages, as well – all due to Switzer's unique ability to specify exactly the component characteristics required to meet our needs, as determined by our clients.

All of this is made possible through the incredible advances in engineering and design software, and lessons learned from decades of aggressive aftermarket turbocharger development. These are lessons that have taught us to build both power and reliability into a given system, and given us the ability to deliver cutting-edge performance upgrades that meet or exceed OEM-levels of component fit, finish, and quality.

“Quality” is a word we take very seriously. On that note, I'd like to point out that every VTG turbocharger Switzer upgrades is built to be as solidly reliable as the OEM component it replaces.

When we upgrade these turbochargers, every component is cleaned, refinished, and checked for proper tolerances. Every backing plate and compressor housing is CNC-machined for precise matching to our compressor wheels. We use only brand-new seals and bearings in our cartridges. We individually balance all shaft and wheel assemblies during assembly, then verify the final product with a high-precision cartridge balance, ensuring that there is no self-destructive behavior once the turbos are put into service. These are rebuilt cores, for sure, but they are so thoroughly reconditioned that it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to call them “new”.

SWITZER TUNED VTG PORSCHE TURBO

Sadly, however, there are number of companies that are trying to sell simple wheel swaps with little or no regard to additional machining and quality-control procedures. They are telling their clients that these steps aren't necessary, swapping in some billet wheel, and calling it a day ... and there are a lot of billet wheel options on the market, being produced with reasonably-priced and readily-available alloys.

That's simply not the case here, as every compressor wheel we use is built with aerospace quality alloys specifically formulated for use in high-performance turbines. 5052 or 6061 aluminum simply will not perform consistently in the brutal, ultra-high temperature world inside a high-performance turbo housing, and even laymen can spot the cheaper wheels after a few heavy duty cycles. Combine objectively inferior alloys with anything less than best-practice machining and assembly programs, and it becomes easy to see why the resulting products tend to self-destruct over time.

Our client's cars are just not something we at Switzer are willing to take a chance on.

We demand and use only the best material technologies and manufacturing practices; and we work diligently to deliver products that perform better than anything else available anywhere. These VTGs certainly aren't the cheapest turbo upgrades available to Porsche enthusiasts, but they represent the best value for dollar argument in the aftermarket today: the best of everything, at a fair price.

Switzer VTG turbo upgrades are available as direct replacements for the factory VTGs, or as part of our comprehensive tuning solutions for Porsche's 997 TT and GT2. Contact Switzer Performance for more.

more beige

2010-03-21T17:35:00.003-04:00

Today's post about the brain-dead simple new Smart Cables from Michelin reminded me of my buddy Matt Hardigree's excellent Beige Bites Back series on Jalopnik.

I find myself torn on the issue of beige-ness. On the one hand, there is a strong business case for building the sort of mildly invisible / ruthlessly efficient appliances that the market demands in quantity. On the other, you find cars that require knowledge, attention, and (one might say) a bit of work to really get them down the road.

This principle applies to computers, cameras, and espresso machines, as well as cars. Some are fairly automatic, and easy to use for even the most lay of laymen, while others require a more informed touch - lest, something like this happen.

DO YOU CONNECT THE "+" TO THE "-" OR THE "+" TO THE "+"

I'm not really sure where any of this is going (still), but I don't think anyone else does, either.

That said, it may be that the future really does belong to the ~~Soma addicts~~ Prius drivers and iPad buyers, but I like to think there will still be some room for those people who like to tamp their own espresso on a copper-and-brass La San Marco, boot into Linux on a Sony PS3, and tune an orchestra of carburetors by ear ... but maybe there won't be.

If not that, maybe I'll be able to sip my Mc'Spresso and text about the good 'ol days while my automobot drives me to work in the mornings. That would be nice, too.

lacks motivation

2010-03-21T14:30:00.003-04:00

Whether you're a human being or a car, sometimes you lack motivation.

You may be facing down a cold morning, you might have left your lights on all night, or you may be staring down a solid month of ZERO blog posts. The details don't matter. What matters is that you're stuck, and can't seem to will yourself into forward motion.

Sometimes, the key to a little motivation is to connect something to a fresh car battery ... which is where these little diddies come in.

MORE EXCITING

You're looking at a set of Michelin Smart Cables, which do away with the whole "positive to positive to negative to positive" drama that has always perplexed stranded drivers.

"Attech 'em any way you want" jumper cables is definitely an idea I wish I'd had first, and I'll be kicking myself all afternoon ... which just so happens to be one of the most beautiful spring Sunday afternoons I've ever experienced.

SO, what am I doing inside, writing about jumper cables?

Good point. See you at the Feve.

lotus v. unintended acceleration

2010-02-20T23:27:00.005-05:00

I was thoroughly enjoying this article on Lotus' slick new Evora GT when something a bit - strange - caught my attention. See if you see it, too.

Now that [Lotus] is preparing to launch an all-new model to boost its standing and appeal to a different type of buyer. With four seats, a Camry V6 and a fully trimmed interior, we have to ask: Will the Evora become the new Esprit?

Toyota's involvement with Lotus has been heavily publicized in the past, having been heralded as Lotus' ticket to volume, reliability, and mainstream adoration. Why is it then, that along with all the news pummeling Toyota in recent weeks, I haven't heard anything about a massive Lotus safety recall on the big car sites?

UNINTENDED ACCELERATION: DOING IT RIGHT

Examiner writer Marci Stone picked up on Lotus' impending recalls a few weeks ago, but a quick Google search (at 11:30PM EST on 20FEB2010) reveals that she's pretty much the only one. Indeed, automotive.com doesn't currently list a single throttle or ECU-related recall.

Still, while such a recall may be seen as a huge chink in Toyota's armor, most of the Lotus drivers I know run full-throttle to the grocery store, so I doubt they'd even notice (or complain) about "sudden acceleration", but all that Camry talk has sort of taken the bloom off this ~~rose~~ lotus, as far as I'm concerned.

Maybe I'll start looking into a Hawk HF2000, instead.

300 posts in and all about the love

2010-02-14T18:35:00.010-05:00

Maybe I've neglected my little corner of the internet for far too long. Maybe I spend too much time online as it is. Maybe I'm over-thinking things again.

Thinking (over, under, or otherwise) is what today's rant is all about, however - and, Valentine's Day or no, I want to spend some time thinking about the state of the automotive industry.

In my mind, there are really two kinds of relevant car-buyers: the first kind of car buyer purchases brand-new vehicles from dealer lots that they think they need (type 1), while the second kind of car buyer purchases brand-new vehicles from dealer lots that they think they want (type 2).

People who do not buy new cars are irrelevant to this discussion (but we'll get to them).

Type 1 car buyers tend to be practical shoppers. They "need" a new car, remember? As such, type 1 buyers are not buying a particular car or brand. Rather, they are buying some feature or benefit which "that" car provides - be it an extra row of seats, a predictable monthly bill, some new safety feature, or (in some cases) social acceptance. No matter how you slice it, though, the decision to buy "x" model car has been justified to the nth degree. Even if all the justifications are total baloney, the type 1 buyer has convinced him/herself that they're buying something they need.

In other words, type 1 car buyers buy cars that make sense (if only to them).

Type 2 car buyers tend not to be practical shoppers. They "want" a new car. As buyers motivated by their emotions, and each of them will buy a car that speaks to them as an individual. There are, then, as many motivators as there are type 2 car buyers, and each of them will find some aspect of some vehicle personally engaging enough to pull the trigger.

In short, type 2 car buyers buy cars that they like (and, perhaps only they like).

What does this classification of new-car buyers have to do with the state of the automotive industry?

Everything.

In recent years, there has been a sort of feature-creep in mainstream automobiles. Not that long ago ago, 235 hp was the domain of fearsome rear-drive Mustang Cobras that no responsible adult would buy their teenager. Today, my Volkswagen minivan makes more, and has a top speed well over 100 mph.

Power is just one of the many features found in today's cars that were absent in years past, however. In order to help drivers control that newfound power, automakers turned to "cheats" like advanced engine-control software, anti-lock brakes, traction controls, and semi-automatic transmissions - and each of these new features has served to separate the (unqualified) drivers from their (overqualified) machines. All of which is a long lead-in to the following observation: driver involvement is the single most critical issue facing the automotive industry today.

Appropriately (given the date of this post) driver involvement is an issue that is all about the buyer's love for their car, and it is that love which will author the fate of the automotive industry. The Type 1 buyer will love cars that speak to their needs. The type 2 buyer will love cars that speak to their wants.

So, will there be enough love out there to make a solid business case for engaging, involving automobiles?

I don't know.

To be honest, I'm not even sure what makes an automobile engaging anymore, now that you can buy family sedans that can run low 13's all day long with yawn-inducing efficiency. I'm pretty sure that Porsche's ire-inducing nav system counts as "involving", but I don't want any of that.

Automotive love is pretty hard to define, in any sort of practical "build this" sort of way. I don't know what makes some people love Volkswagens and other people love Lancias. I do know this, however: I actually bitch out loud to no one in particular when the red light I'm idling/texting at turns green before I'm done.

I don't think I'm alone.

In fact, given a choice between commuting by car or by train, I would like to be teleported to my destination. I will save my automotive lust for more vintage iron, and - because that means I will NOT a new car anytime soon - become irrelevant to the actual business of running a car company.

So, don't bother marketing to me, GM, Toyota, or Honda. It's been great, and I wish you all the best, but the Lancia Beta is the girl for me.

SEVENTEEN KINDS OF GORGEOUS

Maybe we can still be friends?

Either way, best of luck to you big-volume car-makers, I fear you're going to need it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

this many is too many

2010-02-13T00:57:00.007-05:00

FOUR INCHES IS WELL WITHIN THE NORMAL RANGE

Over a 16 year production run, Lamborghini built 2042 Countach supercars.

I will admit that the word "iconic" has been horribly overused since Superman Returns, but in terms of exotic sportscars and teenage lust, very little compares to Lamborghini's iconic Countach. The Countach is an icon in the same sense that the venerated images of the saints are, mounted on walls by true believers, and looked to for hope and inspiration.

This post, however, is not about the Countach. It's about that car's corporate grandson - the Murcielago.

The Murcielago brings to mind a particular saying that I heard in some cartoon or movie years ago. The source never stuck with me, but the message did, which is to say: everything valuable is rare, but not everything rare is valuable.

Which brings me to today's announcement from Lamborghini (via Autoblog).

Italian Super sportscar manufacturer Automobili Lamborghini proudly celebrates a historic event: an LP 670-4 SuperVeloce version of its current flagship V12 Murciélago, carrying series number 4,000, has just left Lamborghini's factory in Sant'Agata Bolognese, destined for a Chinese buyer.

That's right. There are 4000 (four-thousand) Lamborghini Murcielagos running around out there, and all of them were built in the last 9 years.

SO, I'd like to ask: how many is too many?

Would you call a Volkswagen Passat W8 a more exotic car than a Murcielago? There are more Murcis out there now than W8 Passats.

THERE WERE ONLY SIX MADE WITH TRANSPARENT ALUMINUM

I'm not sure how that line about everything valuable being rare plays out in the case of the Murcielago, but I can tell you this: 4000 seems like a lot of cars ... and there are even more Lamborghini Gallardos out there than there are Muricelagos.

In a few short months, the current batch of Lamborghinis will be more common than Fox-bodied Mustang Cobras, 4th-gen SS Camaros, and Buick GNXs. We are living in a world where late-model Lambos probably outnumber street-worthy US Lancias and Alfas by a wide margin, and yet ...

... I don't know, exactly, but that charging bull on the hood just doesn't seem so special anymore.

Congratulations, then, to Lamborghini, for making our icons a little more ordinary.