sunshine supercheese

You like cheese?

The Amish are Ohio's gourmet cheese-gurus, and if you're an old man with a barn, they'll sell it to you!

Last weekend, we drove down to Ashland, OH and Grandpa Baum's famous "Grandpa's Cheese Barn and Village", where Granpda has been exploiting Amish farmers capitalizing on the fruits of Amish labor for decades.

Packed with every made-from-scratch delight this writer can imagine, Grandpa's Cheese Barn has ciders (blackberry, peach, red raspberry, and apple), jams (fig, raspberry, orange peel, and ginger), jerked meats (ha!), as well as a variety of cookies, coffees, and ice cream ...

... and then there were the cheeses.


There was cheese everywhere in Grandpa's barn, and I'm not just talking about the schlock being pushed in the gift shop.

There was gouda, swiss, 'murican, and muenster. We tried triple-cream butter cheese that melted in our mouths. We sampled horseradish bacon cheddar, which was a glorious bacon-flavored kick in the mouth on our way to pinconning ... which was not obviously poison.

I mentioned the horseradish and bacon cheddar already, but we found more and more cheddars. Here were all manner cheddars, from cayenne (hot) and tomato (tasted like Spaghetti-O's) to strawberry.

We found something called beer cheese, which I truly believe was made by draining the distilled liquids of various corpses into week-old milk curds. I did not care for it, and plan on someday weaponizing it for sale to 3rd world dictators.

Being who I am, however, my favorite was the house special: Grandpa flavored butter, which was presented for sale un-ironically.


We are through the looking glass people. Tread lightly.

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