Dear readers, allow me to introduce le French Hummer.
There are so many Frog/Cheese-eating-surrender-monkey/French whore jokes running through my head right now that, as I write this, I literally cannot concentrate on any one idea, theme, or comedic arc of insultation.
So, instead of trying to be witty or clever, let's just start writing jokes!!
1. It's nice, but where do you mount the white flag?
2. It's perfectly suited for the unique requirements of the French military, with 1 forward, and 5 reverse gears.
3. It's a 3-ton truck powered by Renault's "EURO" 4 cylinder engine ... that one's not a joke (at least, not intentionally!).
4. The radiator in my leCar did this whenever it got hot out (below).
5. Speaking of the leCar, when this thing catches on fire (as a French car, it inevitably will) will the soldiers trapped inside be victims of "friendly fire", or "flambe'"?
6. Hugh Grant: "When I ordered the French Hummer, I'd thought it would be different."
7. Special safety feature: automatically hits the brakes when it hears anyone speaking German.
8. The on-board nav system knows how to say "I surrender." in 17 languages.
9. Look closely at the image below ... take it in.
That's right, people. The FRENCH MILITARY need little steppy-ladders to help them get in their armored combat vehicles. HA! Could you imagine the USMC lobbying congress to install little steppy-ladders on Hummers?
10. (last one ... from me, anyway!) Most useful feature of this vehicle? Rear-view mirror.
Get it? So they can see the war!
HA! I kill me!
CLICK HERE for more pictures and a more reverent view of "le Hummer".
Try not to laugh too loud.
Very funny. I like it
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