Showing posts with label renault. Show all posts
Showing posts with label renault. Show all posts

13.10.08

ever so close to crashing out






Hello, dear reader! It's been some time since my last post - looks like about 2 weeks, I think? Feels like more.

70-hour work weeks are like that.

Anyway: what a miserable, chaotic, Horror of a fortnight it has been for me and the RENN! After this weekend's FOS insanity and last week's GLK SEMA drama, I was almost ready to curl up under the blankiis and cry until my (laughable) savings account dried up.

Maybe longer.

All that changed a few hours ago, however, when I got news that Alonso won in Japan.

It's one of the silly quirks of the male gender that when your horse wins - you win, when your team wins - you win, and when Fernando Alonso wins in a Renault, it is God's love shining down on us and mother Earth delivering her bounty. And this was some really Real love and shining, let me tell you!

See, when Alonso won in Singapore 2 weeks ago, it was the happy highnote that let me survive a blistering Monday filled with threats and treachery - but it was one of those Insane results we've come to expect from F1's 2008 season (a season that has been thus far, filled with tricky corners, bizarre shadows, and blinky-light safety cars).

Alonso's win in Japan was different: Alonso and the newest incarnation of Renault's F1 contender are for real Legit, and I feel great.

It's been a busy few weeks, but if that spic-y little bastard can turn that boat-anchor Renault into a real Winner then THIS spoiled, spic-y little bastard can certainly get his act together enough to get the 'blogs rolling again.

So, to the entire Renault team: thanks for that shot in the arm. Now, go BURY the opposition in China!

For my part, I'll be posting new pics from the GLK build, pics from this weekend's Festivals of Speed in Orlando, and saying goodbye to Yanni - the best intern ever.

Stay tuned!

11.9.08

too ... many ... jokes!






Dear readers, allow me to introduce le French Hummer.

There are so many Frog/Cheese-eating-surrender-monkey/French whore jokes running through my head right now that, as I write this, I literally cannot concentrate on any one idea, theme, or comedic arc of insultation.

So, instead of trying to be witty or clever, let's just start writing jokes!!


1. It's nice, but where do you mount the white flag?

2. It's perfectly suited for the unique requirements of the French military, with 1 forward, and 5 reverse gears.

3. It's a 3-ton truck powered by Renault's "EURO" 4 cylinder engine ... that one's not a joke (at least, not intentionally!).

4. The radiator in my leCar did this whenever it got hot out (below).




5. Speaking of the leCar, when this thing catches on fire (as a French car, it inevitably will) will the soldiers trapped inside be victims of "friendly fire", or "flambe'"?

6. Hugh Grant: "When I ordered the French Hummer, I'd thought it would be different."

7. Special safety feature: automatically hits the brakes when it hears anyone speaking German.

8. The on-board nav system knows how to say "I surrender." in 17 languages.

9. Look closely at the image below ... take it in.



That's right, people. The FRENCH MILITARY need little steppy-ladders to help them get in their armored combat vehicles. HA! Could you imagine the USMC lobbying congress to install little steppy-ladders on Hummers?

10. (last one ... from me, anyway!) Most useful feature of this vehicle? Rear-view mirror.

Get it? So they can see the war!

HA! I kill me!


CLICK HERE for more pictures and a more reverent view of "le Hummer".

Try not to laugh too loud.