i write about wine | part vi

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HIGH FIDELITY

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Devout Christians claim to see the hand of God in all things, and - to these people - that sight is a comfort and a strength. I've heard them read off beautiful expositions expounding upon the Graceful hand that shaped each leaf, sprinkled every drop of dew, and I've seen them grow in strength and joy simply reading about their creator. These few, faithful people really do see God in the details - let's face it: ain't just anybody seein' Jesus in a tortilla.

I think it's safe to say that I am not a Christian. Not really. It's not what I am or what I am not that is relevant here, though - what is relevant, and what I feel makes me very like these hyper-religious people I just described, is that I see Lancias everywhere.

Take, for example, the Dodge Avenger rally project shown in the video, above. Jalopnik writer Justin Hyde said that this 300 hp car - built in conjunction with Fiat and Magneti Marelli - was "all dressed up with no place to go."

Really, Justin? Really!?

Take a look at this car. Look hard, and soak it in - but keep an open mind, too, because - unless you're as damaged as I am - I'll need to explain what it is you're looking at.

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THIS DOES NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

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I submit, for your consideration, the following hypothesis: Justin (along with the boys at Autoblog) got it dead wrong.

See, the 300 hp rally-spec Dodge shown here is nothing but red-herring. It is a ruse. It is a diversion, if you will, which will allow Chrysler and Fiat to develop something novel, exciting, and inspiring in relative secrecy, by hiding it in plain sight. I am referring, of course, to a new Lancia HF.

:: remember to breathe, remember to breathe ::

There is very little in this world that is more exciting to me than the prospect of honest-to-goodness new Lancia arriving on US shores, and almost nothing that is more exciting to me than the prospect of a new HF.

Add the word "Integrale" to the end of that sentence and you can drop the "almost".

I believe, with the same religiastic Fervor that makes believers see the Virgin Mary in a grease stain, that the Dodge Stratus rally car that was making news today is a mule, proving that the platform can boogie in the dirt. The platform, by the way, which it shares with Chrysler's new 200. AKA the 2012 Lancia Flavia.

Lancia Flavia HF has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

With 300 hp on tap and sport-tuned, rally-bred suspension components managing the car's newly-refined chassis, a Flavia HF would go a long way towards building the Chrysler 200's cred as a Lancia worthy of carrying the shield and the flag... and Fiat would be mad not to move forward with the concept ... and I think someone at Fiat agrees.

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STEADY NOW

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I promise you: the Lancia Flavia HF will happen, and you'll be done seen 'bout ev'rything, when you see a elephant fly.

sub5zero finds religion

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LOVE IS A WHITE BOX FESTOONED WITH MARTINI LOGOS

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That I love Lancias and galloping elephants is well-documented in the pages.

Less well-documented, however, are the histories of Lancia's fabulous HF cars. A criminal oversight that my friend Ari Cox (from Sub5Zero) is working to rectify, beginning with the ultimate off-road overdog: Lancia's Delta HF Integrale (1978-1993).

CLICK HERE for a great read ... even if you are a Godless Nazi not a dyed-in-the-wool Lancia fanatic.

Enjoy!

ken block | gymkhana ii

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Did I say the big news yesterday had something to do with GM? Silly, me!

What I SHOULD have been covering was Ken Block's latest gymkhana video! Block's first video, of course, launched both him and the phrase "Segway Donuts" into the mainstream media consciousness like a squirrel-catapult.

I've always been a big fan of Ken Block and all things rallying, and wish him well with this latest video (above) by DC Shoes.

CLICK HERE for the original, in case you haven't seen it.

survive the coming apocalypse

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Once again proving that they are the funniest automotive news site on the interwebs, Jalopnik has just posted the 12 best cars to help you survive 12 different kinds of coming apocalypses (apocalypsi?). At the top of the list (which Jalopnik claims to be "in no particular order") is the RENN's very own GLK 350 Spec.R hybrid rally-racer! Woo-hoo!

Also on the list: that Decepticon what got it's head cut off by Optimus Prime in the first movie (below) and the ultra-clean, all-electric Pow-Pow-Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler.

Enjoy!

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Photos by Ben Wojdyla - CLICK HERE for the original article.

dear god no

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Some places are just weird.

It is true that, sometimes, you can chalk that "dis ain't raaht" feeling up to good, old-fashioned 'Muricanism ... but sometimes things are just weird.

Case in point: France. Trust me on this one, France is a weird place. Still, there is French weird, and then there is this otherworldly French-CANADIAN sort of weird vibe that inspires people to drive from Quebec to Florida at 40 mph with their left blinkers on.

It is that strange sort of vibe that one gets when you cross crepes and moose, I believe, that led to this P1800 Volvo/Geo Tracker hybrid.

That's right: there's a Suzuki Sidekick/Geo Tracker hiding under that thing.

There are no words.

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EDIT: SAME DAY

Technically, there ARE words - but they're in French, so make of it what you will.

volvo 1961 p1800 modifier avec mécanique suzuki moteur 1.3 fonctionelle 4 par 4 low et high ou 2 par 4. les pneus sont neuf peinture refait été 2008. plaquer promenade ,elle ne passe pas inaperçu! pour plus dinfo contacter sylvain au 819 623 120

CLICK HERE to buy the thing.

weiner pics

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Just a few pics of the RENN's GLK - from Ree Bisaccio at MBUSA.

Thanks, again!

we are ze weiners!!

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After a crazy-hectic 45 day build and grueling 30 days of campaigning for votes from friends, family, well-wishers, enemies, total strangers, spam-bots, and all manner of Illuminati conspiracy theorists, Mercedes-Benz announced that RENNTECH has won the MBUSA GLK tuner build-off!!

At this point, I'm supposed to write about the tough competition from Brabus and Legendary, but - being 100% honest - Brabus took a knife to an all-out RENNTECH/BLVD gunfight, and I'm not sure Legendary showed up at all.

In any event, Mercedes acknowledged that RENNTECH's sweeping program of upgrades - which included extensive engine mods, software development, aerodynamic bodywork, suspension and brake upgrades, as well as converting the GLK to hybrid drive - pushed RENNTECH's GLK 350 Spec.R Rally Racer "over the edge".

The RENN and I would like to thank all our friends and sponsors (listed, below), this build would not have been possible without you.

Thanks for all your support!

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Special thanks to ...

- Nitto tire
- Seibon carbon
- 3M
- Optima batteries
- Schroth racing
- Goff's curtain walls
- Platune design
- JRD tuning
- Technicar
- Graphic Reproduction

Extra special shout-outs to ...

- David Dimitrion
- Rod Trenne
- Jack Baruth
- Matt Hardigree
- Ree Bisaccio
- Brian Nieves
- David Larsen
- Nicole Weiss
- Rob Moran
- Nick Chambers
- Steve Calamusa
- Robert and Raymond (mmm ... dark meat)

episode iii

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Mercedes-Benz released its GLK SEMA build videos online today - RENNTECH episode 3 (of 3) is posted above.

Enjoy the clip, and remember that this is a competitive build-off, so don't forget to vote for RENNTECH's GLK 350 Spec.R Hybrid Rally-Racer at MBUSA.com/GLK.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW!

episode ii

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Mercedes-Benz released its GLK SEMA build videos online today - RENNTECH episode 2 (of 3) is posted above.

Enjoy the clip, and remember that this is a competitive build-off, so don't forget to vote for RENNTECH's GLK 350 Spec.R Hybrid Rally-Racer at MBUSA.com/GLK.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW!

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EDIT: SAME DAY

You know, for some reason I look terrible in this episode! What's up with that? I look OK in episodes 1 and 3 ... bad lighting?

What. Ever.

episode i

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Mercedes-Benz released its GLK SEMA build videos online today - RENNTECH episode 1 (of 3) is posted above.

Enjoy the clip, and remember that this is a competitive build-off, so don't forget to vote for RENNTECH's GLK 350 Spec.R Hybrid Rally-Racer at MBUSA.com/GLK.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW!

vote early - vote often

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It is the most important vote of our generation - a symbol of generational change and hope for a new era of American greatness.

I speak, of course, of the 2008 SEMA Mercedes-Benz tuner "build-off", where America's premier Euro-tuner RENNTECH plays David to take on the twin Goliaths of Brabus' thousand-man payroll and the marketing power of DuPont publishing.

RENNTECH's GLK 350 Spec.R hybrid rally racer features modifications to cams and heads, combined with full race exhaust and RENNTECH's new 350 composite airbox to produce 350 hp, while the 26KW electric motor adds 40 lb-ft of torque at 0 rpm to help this nimble Sport-utility vehicle get moving.

Visit MBUSA.com/GLK to vote now, and text GLK73 to 48457.

CLICK HERE for photos from the MB reveal.

we're stars

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It might not be our big Hollywood break, but it's something!

You might recall a recent Mercedes press release announcing a tuner build-off at this year's SEMA show that would pit RENNTECH against 3 well-known tuning firms (read: victims). The winner of the build-off will be decided by popular vote on November 4, when the cars will be revealed to the industry at SEMA.

RENNTECH's entry has been covered HERE and HERE, but you have the chance to get a "sneak peak" at RENNTECH's rally dominator now - by visiting www.MBUSA.com/GLK. Click on the highlighted buttons (as shown, below) to make your way to the build videos.

CLICK HERE to jump to the site.

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Click "Watch the Videos"

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Click "Meet the Tuners"

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Expand "RENNTECH RALLY RACER"

4 more days to circle the drain

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Remember what happened to Scotty a few days ago?

I'm right there with him - and there is so much going on right now, I can't honestly put together a coherent post.

So, what else is new?

With only four (4) days left, Everyone here at the RENN is getting pretty fried - and it's all about the car you can barely even see behind the curtain wall in that picture up there. That car you can barely even see back there is well on its way to becoming the RENN's 2008 SEMA GLK Project:Rally hybrid show car, thanks to some crazy-long hours put in by Hartmut, David, Cliff, Steve, Pierre, Ratatouille (aka: "Napoleon, the mad intern"), Technicar, a bunch of people I'm forgetting at MBUSA, and the Swedes.

The Swedes! Holy crap - I can't believe I forgot to mention the Swedes!! That should be its own post, really - but, for now, enjoy this clip from Monster Garage (yes, these are THOSE Swedes).

ecomusing and more bullsh*t

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This is one of my favorite episodes of Penn and Teller's Bullshit series, as it highlights the mythologies and not-so-hidden socio-political agendas of the environmental hysterics.

With all the talk of hybrid this and eco that these last few days (with more to come, I'm sure) I'd like to point out that I absolutely DO NOT believe in some impending global environemental crisis, the doomsday scenarios of the "peak oil" wingnuts, or any other chicken-little theory.

That said, I AM a strong supporter of increasing CAFE standards and firmly believe higher gas prices are good for America.

Without getting too far off track (this is a blog about cars, after all) I will also say this: more efficient vehicles are simply more fun.

If you deny that claim, then admit, at the very least, that efficient vehciles have the potential to be fun - consider the latest crop of electric cars from Tesla and Fisker. That Tesla thing looks like fun ... and putting around Key West on a 100 mpg scooter while you're blowing a 0.22 is a BLAST, I promise!

I mention this because we're building a hybrid now - and, while it will share many characteristics with its wussy green brethren (I'm looking at you, Prius!), it shares more (in spirit) with the Tesla Roadster and a nearly forgotten generation of Group B Audi Quattros and Lancia S4 Deltas. That is: instant torque.

An electric motor hits with all of its available torque at 0 rpm. The INSTANT you "flip the switch", as it were, you are on the move ... and if you have enough batteries on board, you are on the move Very quickly!

Does it save gas?

Sure, it does - but that's just gravy.

The point is to have fun, try new things, remain true to who you are, and not hurt anyone else in the process, you know? To have a car (in this case) that was good at everything you wanted it to be good at, and that didn't make you sacrifice anything you wanted to keep. If only there was some sort of corporate motto or catchphrase that could sum that up ...

I'll think of something. In the meantime, enjoy the Bullshit.