Showing posts with label douchebags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label douchebags. Show all posts

1.3.09

200 posts | nerdgasm | douchey comments



It took me more than a full year to reach Sunshine's 100th post, and less than 5 months to get to 200. With all that's happened in the past 100 posts, I think it's time to sit back and reflect a bit.

First, Sunshine has begun to enjoy some real successes, with references on the Scooterscoop and Neatorama (two of my all-time favorite sites), as well as something approaching a regular readership!

Second, my recent coverage of the 2009 Palm Beach Supercar douchebags produced another, more personal sort of victory for me just this morning! Go click over there, and see if you catch it.

It's OK, I'll wait.

Did you see it?

Right, there, in the comments, Alex writes "I heard Alex Papas from South Florida Toys brought over 100 Lamborghini's and Ferrari's to the Pam Beach Supercar weekend he is the one that should talked about. He puts on the the best events in South Florida."

That's right, people. Alex Papas wrote that he'd heard (somewhere!) that Alex Papas had brought over 100 Lambos to "the PAM Beach Supercar weekend" .. then practically DARES me to call him out on his bad spelling and crap grammar by saying HE is the one who should be talked about!

Ha-ha, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OK, here's the deal: Papas really did bring 100 cars to the event, and this year's show would have SUCKED without his involvement ... but that referring to himself in the third-person baloney HAS GOT TO GO.

SO, there's your 5 minutes of "fame" on Sunshine ... is it all you dared hope?

Amazing.

As exciting as all this sounds, however, I should point out that it's not all cashews and honeydews here at Sunshine. Indeed, I was recently told that I should tone down "that nerdy bullsh*t" and get back to writing "more badass sh*t".

Well, you can bet I have a response to THAT, too!







That's right, you bastards! Sunshine - like the blogging medium, itself - isn't about giving the people what they want, it's about giving the people what I want - I want more homoerotic 80's dance/Star Trek mash-ups!

I love it when Spock gives Kirk those eyes, don't you?

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the last 200 posts. I hope you'll all stick around for the next few hundred, since I Seriously intend to peg the whathef*ckometer on 11 here very soon, and have no intention of going back.

So, to all my readers, I love you all! Now, if I could only get you to click on some freakin' ads ...

10.2.09

classy paint | supercar weekend 09 | part iii






The abomination above has gotten lots of press over the past year or two - known as "the tattoo Lambo", this horror has been vandalized from stem to stern by someone with too much time and way Way WAY too many Sharpie markers.

You'd think this kind of homage to poor taste and America's sub-par public school systems would be the worst thing at this year's Palm Beach Supercar Weekend, but you'd be wrong ...





THIS tacky horror was at the show, easily gaining top (?) honors for tackiest, most pretentious automotive paint-job in all of South Florida.

I've covered this Britto abortion before HERE, but calling out a doucher like this for having the stones to treat this 2D betsy-wetsy crap like high art is never something I'll get tired of.

Simply put, this Britto Audi A4 is NOT a product of great taste ... but what about a CAVI-sponsored Radical?





It says right on the hood, "A Product of Great Taste". Which, of course, doesn't need to be said - because NOTHING says class like a red, yellow, gray, and purple painted SR8 track-rat with generic level 2 "Crown Royal" logos all over it, right?

Right!

HOWEVER - if nothing says class like red, yellow, gray, and purple painted track-rat with generic level 2 "Crown Royal" logos all over it, you can bet that you need a super Classy guy to drive the thing, no?

Enter: the Prince.





This is Prince Olav von something-or-other, and he is a for-real Prince. You can tell, because his heavily embroidered shirt has his name on the right breast, a CRAZY complicated generic level 3 "Crown Royal" logo over the right arm and left breast, and (of course!) the word "Royal" on the left sleeve.

I haven't masked his appearance to respect his anonymity, I did it because I still cannot bring myself to look this guy in the eye.

Pointing and laughing is another matter altogether.

do not sponsor | supercar weekend 09 | part ii






I admit, I struggled with these Supercar Weekend follow-up posts. Sure, there were more than a few Joey Buttafucho level douchebags running around Temerian's otherwise excellent event, but this is an exotic car pissing contest in the heart of Palm Beach, so that's to be expected, right?

Right.

Still, some of these jerks really are worse than others ... and I've decided to point out some of the worst offenders, starting (above) with "Johnny B Racing".

First, a professional warning: do not sponsor Johnny B Racing.

I do not know Johnny B. He may be a class guy, when he's not feeling the need to tell you he's Johnny B (baby). He may even be a past or future customer (there are LOTS of Johnny Bs in the world, and about as many V8 Ferraris, as well). Of course, you know he's not, but that's not why I'm issuing the warning.

Simply: I don't think this guy can drive a stick.

At about 9:00am, this guy rolled his semi-generic "number 96" Ferrari (at a show like this, a Modena or F430 really is pretty generic) and immediately began REVVING THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF THE ENGINE FOR A FULL 10 MINUTES.

This was not "racecars are hard to drive slow" revving. This was full-on "Special Olympics 500" jamming the throttle WFO to make sure everyone within 3 miles turns and looks at the Johnny B Racing trailer.

Times are tough, people, and there are plenty of high-class guys out there who won't blow your hard-earned sponsorship dollars on clutches, plugs, and top-shelf race fuel at shows like this.

More Palm Beach Supercar Douchebags to come. Enjoy the lawsuits!